TODAY IN REVISIONIST SPORTS HISTORY

William Howard Taft becomes the first U.S. president to attend a baseball game, watching the New York Giants play the Cubs in Chicago. Taft attended after learning about that day's 1-Cent-for-a-Hot-Dog promo at Wrigley Field.

A Brooklyn Dodgers-Chicago Cubs game is called when players, umpires and fans are attacked by gnats. Following the game, the Dodgers immediately sent recently recalled outfielder Pete "Pig Pen" Johnson back the minors.

After being ejected for swearing, Johnny Evers claims he was talking to the ball and not to umpire Mal Eason, but the Boston Braves' shortstop is still suspended for three days. During his suspension, to prevent further confusion, Evers legally changed his ball's name from "Mal Eason" to "Bally McBaseball."

Future major league pitcher Gaylord Perry is born in Williamston, North Carolina. Perry took less than five minutes to be born, as his mother coated the inside of her birth canal with copious amounts of Vaseline.

White Sox DH Minnie Minoso, age 53, singles to become the oldest player in Major League history to get a hit. Minoso held the record until Albert Pujols got his first hit of the 2004 season.

Ty Cobb plays the final game of his career against the New York Yankees. The surly Cobb addressed the crowd memorably after the game with tears in his eyes: "Today ... I consider myself ... the luckiest man ... on the face of the earth ... Because I no longer have to see you pieces of sh!t anymore."

Mickey Mantle of the New York Yankees hits a 643-foot home run over the rightfield stands in Detroit that lands in a lumberyard. Unable to contain themselves due to the rare combination of a memorable sporting event and kindling, Detroiters set fire to the entire lumberyard.

Robin Yount of the Brewers becomes the 17th player and third youngest to reach the 3,000 career hit milestone when he singles off of Indians reliever Jose Mesa. Yount also became the 3,000th batter to get a milestone hit off of Jose Mesa.

In a game against the Angels, Bert Campaneris of the A's becomes the first major league baseball player in history to play all nine positions in one game. However, due to having to field every position, Campaneris's efforts were spread thin, and the A's lost 268-0; Campaneris also set another record by throwing 213 wild pitches.

Bill Shoemaker wins his 6,033rd race to pass Johnny Longden and become horse racing's winningest jockey. Shoemaker was presented with a 12-inch plaque commemorating his accomplishment, a memento which sadly crushed him to death.