August 23, 1982 – Gaylord Perry of the Seattle Mariners is thrown out of a game for throwing a spitball. It was later discovered the big gaylord had been using another man’s saliva.

August 24, 1963 - John Pennel pole-vaults 17-feet, 3/4-inches to become the first to break the 17-foot barrier. Unfortunately, Pennel’s vault left the U.S. space program still woefully short of reaching the moon.

August 25, 1973 – Allan Abbott sets a world record by pedaling a bicycle 140.5 miles per hour on the Bonneville Salt Flats in Utah. Abbott would have hit a higher speed but the inside of his thighs chaffed so badly his legs separated from his torso.

August 26, 1947 – Don Bankhead of the Brooklyn Dodgers becomes the first black pitcher in major league history. Batters remarked Bankhead’s curveball had a much funkier break than any they’d seen before.

August 27, 1982 – Rickey Henderson of the Oakland A’s steals his 119^th base of the season in a game against Milwaukee to break Lou Brock’s single-season stolen base record. Henderson celebrated the feat in his usual understated, respectful way by pulling out a glossy photo of Brock, placing it on second base and urinating all over it.

August 28, 1941 – The Football Writers Association of America is founded. The group organized in hopes its members could save money by purchasing food in bulk quantities.

August 29, 1946 – Long-jumper Bob Beamon, who jumped a world record 29-feet, 2.5-inches at the 1968 Olympics, is born in Jamaica, New York. Beamon shot out of his mother’s vagina and landed 18-feet, 11-inches away.