August 9, 1977 – The NHL refuses the merger request of six World Hockey Association franchises. The league declined because its business plan did not call for the NHL to destroy itself by over-expansion for another 20 years.

August 10, 1991 – NFL broadcaster Paul Maguire suffers a heart attack at age 53. God had attempted to kill Maguire after suffering through a game he broadcast.

August 11, 1986 – Simon Le Bon, lead singer for the rock group Duran Duran, nearly drowns when his yacht capsizes during the Fastnet Race off the coast of England. Le Bon’s yacht had been loaded with too much of Le Bon’s hair gel.

August 12, 1986 – Rod Carew becomes the first player in the history of the California Angels franchise to have his uniform retired. The team also retired Carew’s foreskin.

August 13, 1969 – Jim Palmer pitches a no-hitter as the Baltimore Orioles defeat the Oakland A’s, 8-0. The future underwear model distracted the A’s batters with his massive bulge.

August 14, 1994 – Pitcher Dwight Gooden leaves the Betty Ford Center. Gooden left after discovering there was no cocaine at the Betty Ford Center.

August 15, 1970 – Pat Palinkas becomes the first woman to play in a pro football game when she held the ball on a kick for the Orlando Panthers. Palinkas was immediately thrown off the team for pulling the ball on Panthers’ kicker Charlie Brown.