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T.I.R.S.H.: Today in Revisionist Sports History.

Actual events in history that occurred this week – with a back-story you may not have known...

May 7, 1988 – Winning Colors becomes just the third filly to win the Kentucky Derby. Colors immediately capitalized on her victory, posing in a racy photo spread in Playcolt Magazine that showed not only her nipples, but also a gratuitous shot of her massive horse vagina.

May 8, 1936 – After being declared dead after a fall at Bay Meadows Racetrack, jockey Ralph Neves unexpectedly revives while on the embalming table and rushes back to the racetrack to the surprise of grieving fans. Neves’ story was retold six decades later in the 1993 movie “Leprechaun,” a story of a freakishly small demon-man who is impossible to kill.

May 9, 1984 – The Chicago White Sox beat the Milwaukee Brewers, 7-6, in 25 innings – the longest game in American League history. Most observers felt, however, that all previous White Sox-Brewers games seemed to be just as long and monotonous to sit through.

May 10, 1991 – Oakland A’s slugger Jose Canseco is spotted leaving the apartment of pop singer Madonna. It was later revealed that Madonna had injected Canseco in the butt with a conical bra.

May 11, 1959 – Yankees catcher Yogi Berra ends his streak of 148 errorless games. Berra commented that making an error seemed “like déjà vu all over again.”

May 12, 1950 – The American Bowling Congress abolishes its white-males only membership restriction. The new restriction tightened the requirements, allowing only fat, bald, low-income, white males to bowl, a policy that has remained in place to this day.

May 13, 1983 – Reggie Jackson becomes the first player to strike out 2,000 times. This feat is oddly never mentioned in Jackson’s ads for the Hit-A-Way.

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