Filed Under » Winter Olympics

In an effort to boostviewership numbers through the first week of this year’s Games, NBC is hoping to ride the social networking wave by advertising Olympic events on Facebook. Judging by these five examples, it’s not going great.

Take a look…

The last time the Winter Olympics were in Canada in Calgary in 1988, the British gave us Eddie "The Eagle" Edwards — the worst ski jumper of all-time.

Now, in Vancouver in 2010, we have found the Eddie "The Eagle" of the downhill: Marion Rolland of France.

Marion? Take it away!

Chute Marion Rolland
by yom_

Whoops. Other than her inability to ski, she looks like one of the better skiers out there.

Another day of the Winter Olympics is in the books. Let’s see who medaled.

Bronze: NBC

By airing so many events on tape delay in primetime, long after many viewers already know the outcome, the network is training its audience. If millions of people will stomach sporting events they already know the outcome of, they’ll probably also tune in at 11:30 p.m. to grimace through jokes with obvious endings, too. Brilliant, NBC!

Silver: Names

We’re coming up on the midway point of the Olympic Games, and we’ve heard a lot of good names so far.

Girts Ankipans (Latvia)

Bjoergvin Bjoergvinsson (Iceland)

Thomas Deruns (Switzerland)

Jakov Fak (Latvia)

Mario Fuchs (Austria)

Drew Goldsack (Canada)

Beat Hefti (Switzerland)

Odd-Bjoern Hjelmeset (Norway)

Melissa Hoar (Australia)

Jakub Hyman (Czech Republic)

Mike Ireland (Canada)

Martin Jaks (Czech Republic)

Kaspar Kokk (Estonia)

Ho-Suk Lee (Korea)

Miroslav Satan (Slovakia)

Alexander Semin (Russia)

Svetlana Sleptsova (Russia)

Andreas Wank (Germany)

Tee-hee! Oh, non-Americans, with your wacky names! Why can’t you name your children something normal like Bode Miller or Picabo Street?

Gold: U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

Lindsey Vonn won gold in the women’s downhill, Shani White won gold in men’s 1000m speed skating and Shaun White won gold in the men’s halfpipe. Put them all together and three golds is the best one-day showing for Team USA in Winter Olympics history. It also puts in perspective how big of an upset it was in 1980 when the U.S. hockey team beat the Soviets and won gold. They did it with only two players!!! Amazing.

NBC made perhaps its most criticized programming decision of the Vancouver Olympics last night when the network cut away from Lindsey Vonn's gold medal run in the women's downhill to air the 1968 TV movie "Heidi", starring Maximilian Schell, Jean Simmons, Jennifer Edwards and Michael Redgrave.

"It's the decision we made," said NBC spokesman Christopher McCloskey. "We had already shown 20 minutes of downhill, and 'Heidi' is a TV classic with an incredible cast. I mean, Michael Redgrave! I guess you can't please everybody."

The network has been stocking its primetime schedule with tape delayed events in an era of the Internet, iPhones and Twitter, while refusing to show many events live during the day, thereby ruining the Olympic viewing experience for a large portion of NBC's audience.

Olympic host Bob Costas said he supported the decision to leave Vonn's tape delayed run.

"Have you seen 'Heidi'? The little girl is adorable. Plus, there are mountains in it and snow," he said. "It's the kind of human interest story we prefer airing during the Olympics to actual live sports. What's really unfortunate is that there isn't a sequel. Too bad NBC doesn't do scripted shows anymore, or we could make 'Heidi 2'!"

While NBC has received millions of complaints from viewers across the country, its ratings for the Olympics remain high even for tape delayed events, and saw a huge spike during the broadcast of "Heidi".

"We aren't trying to woo sports fans," said McCloskey. "We want mainstream America, housewives, people who aren't really sports fans, but watch the Olympics for the drama and the wholesome personal stories. And they have loved our coverage of the Olympics. In fact, their only complaint has been that we haven't incorporated enough Jay Leno."

Go crazy with this video.

Pat O'Brien's All-Access Insider Olympics Show – watch more funny videos

Another day of the Winter Olympics is in the books. Let’s see who medaled.

Bronze: Johnny Weir

The U.S. figure skater received threats from anti-fur activists earlier in the Olympics. But last night in the men’s short program he eschewed fur and instead sported a black and pink number with a corset — including mesh, skin-revealing panels, a pink tassel, sparkles and vinyl. Weir himself said his outfit featured “man cleavage and a pink ruffle.” SPORTS! So forget about the anti-fur activists. Weir may now be targeted by those fearing he will reveal Victoria’s secret.

Silver: Curling

The “sport” of curling, our most broom-centric sport, got a lot of TV time on Tuesday. This can only spur the growth of other exciting janitorial-inspired sports such as:

Sawdusting – A team full of sick children vomits all over a hallway floor. The sawduster must cover it up with sawdust before the stench reaches the judges (who are all middle school principals).

Organizing – Competitors try to fit as many dangerous chemicals as possible inside a small, poorly-lit, walk-in closet in an allotted time. Bonus points are awarded for the placement of a nudie calendar.

Keying – Keyers are given a ring with 150 keys on it. The winner opens the most rooms. Points are lost for using the wrong key, or for cursing at an impatient kid.

Fleeing – Competitors hide a camera in the girls’ locker room shower, record for as long as they can before getting discovered, and then run from police.

Plunging – Exactly what it sounds like. You try to unclog a toilet before your opponent unclogs a toilet. BUT IT’S FOR YOUR COUNTRY!

Gold: This ad

It’s for a Chicago-area furniture store chain. And it’s gold. Pure gold.

Wait. What’s that guy got against Asian carp? RACIST!

American figure skater Evan Lysacek is in position for a gold medal after a stunning short program performance set to the sound of his father's sobbing.

"I wanted to really come out tonight and give it my best and represent everyone who has helped me get here," said Lysacek. "And I don't think I would have made it this far without my father's questionable parenting choices."

Wearing a black, clingy unitard with sections of mesh, ruffles and sequins, Lysacek performed to a recording of his father sobbing in heartbreak — tears shed over his only son being a figure skater.

"I am so ashamed. So incredibly embarrassed for him and my whole family," said a sobbing Greg Lysacek, Evan's father, after the performance. "Yet at the same time, part of me is proud. He is doing well at this and he seems happy. But I don't know why. Does he have no pride?"

Lysacek pulled the audio of his father's tears from years of video tapes his mother shot of his performances from the stands, always with his father sobbing in the background. Set to a funky mix of house music, the crying music set Lysacek's performance apart from his competitors. The skater timed his two toughest jumps — back-to-back triple jumps — to a section of the song where his father wails: "Why God? Why?!"

"I hoped it would make dad proud of me," said Lysacek, who pointed up at his father in the stands after completing his performance.

Greg Lysacek hid his face behind his jacket.

"I didn't want my friends to see me on TV at a figure skating event," he said after the competition, giving a heartfelt nod to Johnny Weir's father as he passed. Weir performed to the song "I Love Penises".