News Study: Olympics Failed to Stop War Again
"We were hoping this would be the Olympics that would do it, but just one glance at the front page of the newspaper this morning showed me that the entire world is going to hell in a handbasket," Ban Ki-moon, Secretary-General of the United Nations. "We're completely f—ked."
While the interlocking Olympic rings represent the unity of all nations and the Games' fortnight is to halt war across the world, most feel the Olympics just motivate humans to kill each other more.
"All the Olympics does is promote nationalism and cause a lot of murderous and genocidal rage to get pent up until the Games are over, upon which all that explodes in bloodshed and actual explosions the moment the cauldron is extinguished," said IOC president Jacques Rogge. "But, hey, the idea of the Olympics is nice even if it doesn't work in practice."
News Winter Olympians Dead to Us
"I honestly can't even remember anyone else besides Shaun White," said one American fan at the London Summer Games. "I know there's that one ice skater guy from the Subway commercials and then I think there was some skiing girl? Or was that snowshoes? Is snowshoeing a winter sport? Ah, who cares."
Experts say such a phenomena occurs once every two years, usually prompted by the beginning of a new Olympic season. Or simply because the day after the Winter Olympics always comes and everyone moves on.
"The public can only soak in so many storylines," said TV analyst Dave Jennings. "What with Phelps, Bolt and the U.S. gymnasts, the public doesn't have the mental capacity to store memories of Winter Olympians past. It's strange, because just two years ago, I was so invested in all the Olympians, especially with that flamboyant figure skater, Johnny Weir. But nowadays, I had to actually Google 'flamboyant figure skater' to even come up with his name."
Opinion The 10 Greatest British Athletes of All-Time
1. Andy Murray
In 2012, Murray became the first British person to appear in a Wimbledon final since 1938. He lost, rather soundly, but at least he made it to a championship. That's really good for a British athlete.
2. David Beckham
Beckham is one of the most famous athletes in the world. He is also considered by many to be one of the most overrated soccer players in the world. However, he did prove some doubters wrong in 2011 with the Los Angeles Galaxy by winning an MLS title — no less than the 14th or 15th most prestigious professional soccer league championship in the whole world.
3. Lennox Lewis
Lewis won a gold medal in boxing and was the WBC heavyweight champion. He identified more as Canadian, but the British will take what they can get.
Toplist The Funniest Athlete Names in Sports History
Sports have Halls of Fame for the best athletes, but the funniest names in sports history rarely receive the honor they deserve. Now you can vote for the athletes whose parents hated them the most!
Opinion 7 Extreme Winter Sports That Should be Added to the Winter X Games
Extreme Ice Fishing 
Description: Each contestant is assigned to a frozen pond and given 100 pounds of C-4. The X-fisher who kills the most fish wins.
Style points: Given for the X-fishers whose fish catch the most air when blasted out of the water.
Lingoing
Description: X-Gamers compete to come up with the douchiest lingo for common things people do during the winter. Everyone on the judging panel is over the age of 40 and the Lingoing winner is determined when a new word causes everyone on the panel to roll their eyes.
Style points: Given to the Lingoing contestants who come up with a new term for Lingoing during the Lingoing competition.
Picture Apolo Ohno and Charlie Weis Halloween Costumes
The theme apparently was sportsmen who are in great shape.
Opinion The 10 Worst Losses in USA Sports History
#10 – U.S. Women in the 2011 World Cup Final
Why it was bad: The U.S. was a heavy favorite against Japan and twice had a lead late in the match before giving up an equalizer each time. Then, in penalty kicks, the U.S. could only convert one of four attempts and lost.
Why it was really bad: America, and the world, lost out on the chance to see how this kid would celebrate a World Cup title:
#9 – U.S. Men in the 1994 World Cup
Why it was bad: Despite being poorly-regarded in the soccer world, the U.S. made it through group play with a respectable 1-1-1 mark on its home soil. Then in the first round of knockout play, they faced mighty Brazil. Only a goal by Bebeto 72 minutes into the match defeated the U.S. National Team.
Brazil went on to win the World Cup.
Why it was really bad: With the whole world watching, the U.S. team willingly dressed like this. Perhaps no action in history has been more detrimental to the country's image internationally than those horrific kits.
It was almost like the U.S. dressed in the ugliest outfits they could find in order to disrespect the world's game.
