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Washington Wizards’ Website Would Like You to Vote Terribly

Why only list four players when the entire roster is equally undeserving? Continue Reading →
Washington Wizards hold a workout for University of Kentucky G John Wall

Updated John Wall Dance to Include Silent Weeping

Washington Wizards point guard John Wall announced today that his eponymous dance will now conclude with silent weeping and a holding of the head. "You always have to keep it ... Continue Reading →
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Wizards’ Season Highlights Include Not Getting Killed at Home by the Mavericks

Hey, it’s hard to market a franchise that awful. Continue Reading →
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Nothing Says Healthy Children Like Andray Blatche

Coloring books are a good way to get through a Wizards game. Continue Reading →
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Jan Vesely’s Draft Night … With The Kiss!

In the Czech Republic, they get laid at their drafts. Continue Reading →
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John Wall Will Never Leave the Wizards for the Nationals

Stephen Strasburg probably has a crappy jumper. Continue Reading →
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JaVale McGee > Blake Griffin … wait, what?

Take THAT, fraudulent NBA dunk champion! Continue Reading →
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JaVale McGee Blocks Shot, Humiliates Shooter

That doesn't count as a blocked shot. That's a caught shot. Continue Reading →
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JaVale McGee Gets Most Pathetic Triple-Double Ever

He probably had a quadruple-double if you count turnovers. Continue Reading →
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Wizards Deadline Acquisition: Andray Baltche

This is worse than when someone put "Jordan" on a Wizards jersey. Continue Reading →
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Wizards Fan > Wizards Mascot

Wizards fans are also probably > Wizards players. Continue Reading →
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The Essence of the Washington Wizards in a 10-Second Highlight

Watch this 288 times and you have a whole Wizards game. (via @talkhoops) Continue Reading →
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New Hampshire Hates Gilbert Arenas

You’d think the "Live Free Or Die" state wouldn’t have a problem with guns. Continue Reading →