"I called Orange D'Lights Tanning Emporium and pretended I was coach Shanahan," said Fletcher. "I said I wouldn't be able to make my morning session and asked for one at 1:00 p.m. Then I told Mike that the salon had called the locker room phone to tell him his appointment was changed."
Now Shanahan must decide between Washington's game against a division rival or a crucial winter tanning session.
"It really isn't a tough decision," said Shanahan. "Maybe if we were still in the playoff hunt I might have to put some thought into it. But I can't miss a tanning session in December. It's hard keeping a good leathery brown going in the winter."
"We're not bluffing," said owner Daniel Snyder. "I think we have a track record that shows that here in Washington. Fail to perform and you'll get paid."
While that approach may seem counter-intuitive as far as building a winner, the Redskins owner argues it is completely logical.
The Redskins-Cowboys embarrassment rivalry is one of sport's greatest.
News McNabb Fairly Confident He Won't Have a Bag of Feces Poured on His Face On Return to Philadelphia
"I had some really good years here and Eagles fans are smart fans who know that," he said. "So pouring feces on my face? That seems unlikely to me. Now a ton of people are going to boo me. And, sure, it's very likely I get pissed on. Multiple times. And feces may be thrown at me. But an actual full bag of human feces dumped on my face? Fresh feces, so it sticks? I would be surprised."
Our reporter spent the day at Washington Redskins training camp in Ashburn, Virginia. Here are his notes.
Washington Redskins owner Daniel Snyder announced today that the team will continue to wear Redskins uniforms in order to honor "all the redskins."
The announcement comes in the wake of the Phoenix Suns wearing "Los Suns" jerseys in a playoff game as a protest against Arizona's new immigration law.
"The Suns have been getting so much attention for their statement, and I just want to remind people that the Redskins have been doing this since 1932," said Snyder. "Despite being godless savages, the redskins were here before us, and I think the least we owe them is a football team named in their honor."
Snyder said the Redskins organization has long considered the team name to be "almost like a peace offering to [Native Americans] of wampum, or whatever that stuff was that they smoked."
"And, in exchange, those warlike-people gave us a really cool name for a team," he said. "A really cool and terrifying name. Just the thought of one of those people riding at you on a horse will make you shit your pants. Because they had absolutely no inhibitions. None. They were like animals. They'd cut your head off, kill your wife and kids. Just because you looked at a squirrel wrong on their land. It didn't matter. And that stuff is scary and definitely great for a team name. So that's why we honor the great, red-faced people. Excuse me red-skinned people. I know you have to be PC these days."
Snyder added that he wishes more teams would stand up and make statements like the Suns and Redskins.
"We are only one team," he said. "There's only so much I can do. But if I could, I'd own NFL teams called the Blacks and Yellowfaces, too."
AVOID: Rock Cartwright, RB, Redskins With Clinton Portis hurt and Ladell Betts out for the season, Rock Cartwright may get the bulk of Washington's carries down the stretch. The opportunity to pick up a No. 1 back especially one with a 4.4 yard per carry average over his career this late in the season is not something to ignore. At the same time, this late in the season you have to be more mindful of a team's schedule.
Let's take a look at the rest of Washington's schedule:
Week 12: Washington @ Philadelphia
Week 13: New Orleans @ Washington
Week 14: Washington @ Oakland
Week 15: New York Giants @ Washington
Week 16: Dallas @ Washington
See why I say to avoid Rock Cartwright now? That schedule is brutal. In that it has the Redskins on it every week. And you should never, ever, ever, under any circumstances, have a member of the Redskins on your fantasy team. Ever. Ever ever. I mean, seriously. What were you thinking?