Picture Stephen Strasburg's Expiration Tattoo
If he smells okay, he can probably still pitch.
News Nationals Approach Stephen Strasburg About Pitching the Remainder of the Season Left-Handed
"We want Stephen to pitch left-handed," said Nationals general manager Mike Rizzo. "We are confident a pitcher of his natural ability can be more than effective with his off hand."
Before the season began, the Nationals vowed to limit Strasburg's innings to protect the right elbow that underwent Tommy John surgery in 2010. Yet it's unlikely team management expected the Nationals to have the best record in baseball or that their protective approach would seriously hurt the franchise's first bid at a World Series title thanks to willingly losing the staff ace in early September. Many have criticized Rizzo for sticking to the plan.
"I don't think you change your decisions just because circumstances change," said Rizzo. "Medical professionals back me up on this. For example, every day I put on SPF 100 sunscreen, regardless of whether or not it's sunny or rainy or winter or even if it's nighttime. How could I look at myself in the mirror if I protected a great young man like Stephen Strasburg less than I do my own skin?"
Video Bryce Harper Tells Little Leaguers to be "Sexy"
And so ends Bryce Harper's camp for kids.
Picture Fat Brewers Pitcher Taunted by Ad
It's not like he wouldn't happily drink one on the mound.
News Stephen Strasburg Set to Self-Destruct in 17 Days
"We're still evaluating the situation with Stephen," said Rizzo. "But as of now, nothing has changed. He will detonate in a little over two weeks."
The Nationals decided to strap a bomb to their franchise pitcher "to protect him."
"He is coming off of arm surgery and we didn't want him to pitch too many innings," said Rizzo. "We considered putting an innings limit on him, but we knew he would want to pitch beyond that and if we found ourselves in playoff contention that we might also be tempted to let him pitch the whole season. But then we thought of the bomb idea. This makes sure Stephen doesn't pitch more than he should."
Strasburg says he has tried to disarm the device that is strapped to his back.
"I want to keep pitching," he said. "More than that, I don't want to die. But I went to San Diego State and didn't even graduate. I don't know what I'm doing. It just looks like a bunch of wires to me."
Picture National Standings After Games of July 4, 2012: For Posterity
At least the Cubs are keeping things normal.
Video The Inevitable Bryce Harper "Clown Question, Bro" Mashup
There have been many clowns throughout history, bro.
Video Bryce Harper Receives Clown-Related Question from Bro Reporter
Is it hard running the bases with your huge shoes?
Picture Stephen Strasbrug: The Next Nationals Phenom
Maybe people would learn his name if he wasn't on a pitch count.


