Smart of DJ Pauly D to bring his own hockey helmet.
"Meet The Press"? More like "Meet The Awkward" AMIRIGHT?!
They would make an awesome pairs skating duo.
In Soviet Russia, wedgies give YOU!
Sidney Crosby is a better dancer.
Maybe that's where he goes when he gets knocked out of the playoffs every year.
Picture Look at this friggin' douchebag
Oh, yeah. And also Ronnie from the Jersey Shore. ZING!
Time had only just expired on the Washington Capitals' stunning first-round playoff exit at the hands of the 8th-seeded Montreal Canadiens and already team officials were outlining changes that must be made for the team to be more competitive next season.
"We need to build this team more for playoff hockey," said general manager George McPhee. "We need to find a No. 1 goalie. And, most of all, we need to admit what is now obvious: Alexander Ovechkin has a problem stepping up in big games. That track record is undeniable. But we think there is hope."
McPhee says he has already placed a call to representatives of actress Kate Hudson, who last fall miraculously transformed Alex Rodriguez from sport's biggest choker into a postseason star.
"That woman's vagina has magical, healing powers," said McPhee. "We want Ovie to be cleansed and renewed in its waters."
Hudson is currently on-location filming the movie "Something Borrowed" with Colin Farrell, John Krasinski and Ginnifer Goodwin, but her agent says she is considering the offer.
"It's going to be tough for Kate to date right now," said Patrick Whitesell of William Morris Endeavor. "She's filming a movie and has two other projects coming up. Also, we have a date request from Sergio Garcia. And he's more of her type. But if Mr. Ovechkin's people can throw season tickets for Kurt Russell into the deal, it will help his chances."
Ovechkin says he supports management's plan.
"Kate Hudson. I like her very much," said Ovechkin. "'You, Me and Dupree' is great movie. Very funny. Now I can have the sex with the Me character, yes? Her voojonny bring me many championship?"