It’s All About Bums

West Coast bums are super aggressive..— The Toddfather (@toddherremans) October 18, 2012 There’s 4 total passengers on my flight n I just farted. That’s a quick game of ‘Who-Dunnit’, ... Continue Reading →

Science Fiction or Non-Fiction?

The matrix was too real— Jahvid best (@J4hvidbest) October 8, 2012 Zombies anyone??— Jeff Locke (@Jeff_Locke) October 12, 2012 Continue Reading →

Lots of Sack Talk

So tell me why the best things in life start with the letter B? – Beer, Brandon, BJ'S ..sigh #ItsTheLittleThings that matter most! #PoWwWwW— brandon spikes (@BrandonSpikes55) ... Continue Reading →

Of Elevator and Confetti Farts

This lady definitely broke wind in the elevator before I got on…so uncouth…but touché to her…give me that opportunity ill take it— David Price (@DAVIDprice14) ... Continue Reading →

Everyone Needs Good Financial Planning

Those helpless two weeks after the cable company changes your channel lineup is prob my best comparison for concussion recovery.— Brandon McCarthy (@BMcCarthy32) September 16, ... Continue Reading →

Joe Theismann Accidentally Questions Jay Cutler’s Toughness

Kay Cutler running for life— Joe Theismann (@Theismann7) September 9, 2012 Do girls fake grunt and moan while on the john in public just for fun or is that just something guys ... Continue Reading →

Baseball Managers Should Stay Off of Twitter

Apologies to the writers for being late to today's pregame session. My pedicure appointment ran a little late.— Joe Maddon (@RaysJoeMaddon) September 5, 2012 tina. dont. ... Continue Reading →

Arian Foster Makes a Good Point

People say I can't be a vegan. But all Mario ate was flowers and mushrooms and look how big & strong he was. Plus he could spit fireballs.— Arian Foster (@ArianFoster) ... Continue Reading →

Duh, Smush Parker is Playing for Guaros de Lara in Venezuela

Never ask for money through text messages that's just a sign of disrespect— Jared Sullinger (@Jared_Sully0) August 23, 2012 Question were is smush parker— SHAQ (@SHAQ) ... Continue Reading →

Jose Canseco is Smarter than Albert Einstein

Yes time travel is possible. Will explain later.— Jose Canseco (@JoseCanseco) August 13, 2012 Only the Survive— Mike Vick (@MikeVick) August 14, 2012 Continue Reading →

Unlike His Speed, Michael Phelps’ Love Has Limits

I can't thank my friends and family enough for coming to London to support!!! Love u all some much!— Michael Phelps (@MichaelPhelps) August 5, 2012 How the heck does Treadstone ... Continue Reading →

An Athlete Finally Makes the Case for Polygamy

I say they legalize POLYGAMY for all since we legalizing gay marriage. Shid can I live to or am I just to much for America to handle. KING!— Anthony Smith (@antkingsmith) August ... Continue Reading →

Shockingly, Barry Switzer is Not a Strong Speller

Mike b and jhey go yicketty! The roadrunner went mammo! And the Bravos have a winning road trip. My kind of day off, no action!!!— Chipper Jones (@RealCJ10) July 25, 2012 Why ... Continue Reading →

Featuring the Most Mets Tweet Ever

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These Tweets Not Approved by PR Departments

"Hour three is a bit slow, but in the fourth hour things really get going!"- me convincing a random person to watch the hr derby— Brandon McCarthy (@BMcCarthy32) July ... Continue Reading →

Don’t Buy a Doll for Nick Collison

I just spent 45mins at a place called"American Girl" where they sell hundreds of different dolls and doll clothes,pets,furniture, …— Nick Collison (@nickcollison4) ... Continue Reading →

America: Our Athletes Need You to Help Them Answer Basic Questions

Did the HEAT WIN LAST NIGHT?— Morris Claiborne (@MoClaiborne) June 22, 2012 Most people dont know what they dont know— BJ Raji (@rajifreezer90) June 24, 2012 Continue Reading →

Show Some Energy, Strippers!

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