August 21, 2012

Video Polamalu-Clad Paul Rudd Sings "Black and Yellow" to Ray Lewis

People who taunt Ray Lewis rarely live to tell about it.

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October 07, 2011

Video Troy Polamalu Wax Likeness Prank

The Steelers should get some wax offensive linemen.

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Filed Under   NFL   Pittsburgh Steelers   Troy Polamalu
August 30, 2011

Picture Terrifying Troy Polamalu Doll

The real Troy is kind and soft-spoken. This one will murder you as you sleep.

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Filed Under   NFL   Pittsburgh Steelers   Troy Polamalu
July 21, 2011

Video Troy Polamalu Gets His Head Shaved

Don't let Roethlisberger near clippers when he's drunk.

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Filed Under   NFL   Pittsburgh Steelers   Troy Polamalu
February 02, 2011

Picture Hines Ward Wears a Troy Polamalu Wig. Again.

He should just get hair plugs like Tom Brady and end the jealousy.

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January 27, 2011

Picture The Keiselmalu

Pittsburgh is now leading the world in men's grooming.

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October 28, 2010

Picture Hines Ward Is Using Troy Polamalu's Conditioner

It could also be a wig.

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August 2, 2010

News Frustrated Ben Roethlisberger Openly Hitting On Troy Polamalu

"Hey, I like your pretty hair," Ben Roethlisberger was heard telling Troy Polamalu yesterday during practice. "Why don't you come over here and sit on my lap and tell me what you like about football?"


Polamalu politely declined and pushed his quarterback's hand away from his butt, but Steelers teammates and coaches say Roethlisberger's come-on was just his latest towards the star safety since camp began.


"You have to realize that Ben has pretty much been in seclusion since March when the incident in Georgia happened," said a Steelers player who wished to remain anonymous. "He's barely seen a girl in five months, let alone gotten a B.J. in a bar bathroom from one. So when he shows up to camp and sees someone with long, curly, black hair, piercing eyes, a thick butt, that soft-spoken but aggressive style … well, he pretty much can't help himself."


"Hell, I've been getting regular tail and I'm sort of attracted to Troy myself," said the player. "He's a very pretty man."


So far Roethlisberger's repeated advances have not been a distraction to the team.


"We're all about team here once camp opens," said head coach Mike Tomlin. "Sexual attraction can be great for bringing a team together. In fact, it's what made the '90s Cowboys and the Patriots of the past decade so good."


Some teammates say Roethlisberger dropped his pants and exposed his penis to Polamalu and other teammates today after practice, "but he was going into the shower," said one player. "Maybe it was an innocent gesture. Although I've come to doubt Ben makes purely innocent gestures when his penis is out."

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November 24, 2009

News Reporter insists he's asking about Troy Polamalu's knee, not his goddam hair

Reporter:Troy! Troy! Tell me about your knee. The Steelers defense is suffering without you. When can you get back on the field?


Polamalu: Well, I owe my great hair to Head & Shoulders. It's for more than just dandruff.


Reporter: Uh, right. No, I want to know about your knee. When will it be 100-percent and when can the Steelers count on you again?


Polamalu: Head & Shoulders does seven great things for my scalp and hair.


Reporter: Didn't ask about your hair, Troy.


Polamalu: You asked with your eyes, Trent. You asked with your eyes.


Reporter: The f—k I did! Look, I'm serious, guy … when are you going to be out on the field again? The Steelers just lost to the Chiefs, Troy. The goddam CHIEFS! Your defense let Matt Cassel drive the ball 91 yards in the fourth quarter to tie the game. Matt Cassel! Ninety-one yards! And, then, in overtime, on 3rd-and-5, Chris Chambers goes right through the defense for 61 yards. Chris Chambers, Troy! Chris f—king Chambers! That guy SUCKS! So I ask one more time … when … in the hell … is your knee going to be ready? And don't say one word about your motherf—kingHAIR.


Polamalu: Two to three weeks.


Reporter: Thank you. And you do have nice hair, by the way.


Polamalu: Thanks.






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