No wonder baseball players are such finely-tuned specimens.
Just imagine how much they'd boo someone in a Maple Leafs jersey.
Blue Jays fans don't get many chances to celebrate.
Wait until they call up Schlong and Wunidesnaik from the minors.
Loved him in "Major League II."
Video No One Likes Mark DeRosa
This is how you're treated when you hit .218.
Before the baseball season started, Ford said the Blue Jays would be "good." As of his crack video, they are 17-24 and in last place.
Canada is a dangerous place full of psychopaths.
Many great comedians have come from Canada.
- Josh Hamilton, LAA - he will fit perfectly into the Angels' lineup of overpaid older guys who watch Mike Trout do everything
- B.J. Upton, ATL - the Braves are confident that all great players probably suddenly start playing up to their potential in their 9th season in the majors
- Torii Hunter, DET - he fills Detroit's need for a non-morbidly obese position player and he was also a childhood friend of Jim Leyland's
- Jose Reyes, TOR - the Blue Jays hope he can be an improvement over Yunel Escobar at shortstop by getting on base and not hating gay people
- Russell Martin, PIT - if giving $17 million to a catcher with a .211 batting average won't get the Pirates a winning season, then nothing will
- Zach Greinke, LAD - not having a big enough payroll is what kept the Dodgers out of the playoffs last year and they won't let that happen ever again
- R.A. Dickey, TOR - even if he pitches nowhere close to his Cy Young performance, he'll keep the clubhouse loose with hilarious tales of playing for the Mets