The celebration was unfortunately abandoned when he spotted a spider. EEEEEEEEK!
"They were all just pictures of him throwing short passes to Wes [Welker]," said Brady. "Little five, six, seven-yard crossing patterns. It was tough to see. What a terrible way to start the day."
Brady's wife, model Gisele Bundchen, said Manning twisting the knife about acquiring the services of his rival's best receiver was even crueler because "Tommy had only been asleep for about an hour. He had been up crying all night about not being able to play with Wesley anymore. I tried to tell him that Wesley is terrible and can't catch, but you know how boys are with their friends."
Each photo Manning sent got more provocative. The first photo was just the quarterback and his new possession receiver shaking hands. The last one was of a 10-yard completion on a crossing pattern in the end zone, both players smiling and shirtless, with the caption: "2013-14 SUPER BOWL CHAMPS!"
"That really hurt Tommy, because he and Wesley always liked to pretend that they won Super Bowls," said Bundchen. "They never did together, of course, but what imaginations!"
He'll UGG you up.
Picture Tom Brady is Now a Conehead
And he keeps his uglier kid on a leash.
That small white guy must be a new Patriots receiver.
That lady has a mouth on her. Hot.
He's been spending too much time with Rob Gronkowski.
Report: Tom Brady also likes boobies.
Yeah, a guy would get beaten up with that hairdo in Boston.
News Tom Brady's Father: "I would be very hesitant to let my son out of the house dressed like that"
"I love my son and all of the pride, joy, and money he's brought to this family," said the elder Brady. "But I just don't understand some of the choices he's been making these last few years. I've been married for a while now, too, so I get that they're not necessarily his 'choices,' but for the love of God, does he have to wear these ridiculous outfits? Show some stones and be a man, boy!"
After a 20-minute rant about Mrs. Brady's penchant for making him cancel his golf plans, the elder Brady requested a refill of his bourbon on the rocks and continued.
"Tom and I have a very special relationship. When he was a kid, I never pushed him too hard when it came to football, but he always knew that getting the same haircut as the current hot pop-star or wearing women's shoes would never fly in my household," said Mr. Brady.
Spilling the drink as it was handed to him, Tom, Sr. then proceeded to change out of his pleated Dockers slacks and put on a pair of elastic-ankled sweatpants while repeating the phrase "I don't care how comfy they are, mate. They's for sheilas," in a British accent that was most likely meant to be Australian.
"You know who never put his hair in a ponytail? Johnny Unitas," Mr. Brady asked and answered before giving anyone else a chance to chime in. "You know who never posed for GQ? Johnny Unitas. You know who never lost two Lombardi trophies to Eli Manning? Johnny Unitas."