July 31st 2002

Alleged Russian crime boss Alimzan Tokhtakhounov is arrested in Italy on U.S. charges that he fixed figure skating results at the 2002 Winter Olympics. Tokhtakhounov’s intense ... Continue Reading →

February 28th 2002

ABC announces John Madden will replace Dennis Miller on "Monday Night Football". Miller said the news was the biggest surprise since "Hannibal ambushed Flaminius at the ... Continue Reading →

February 10th 2002

The Winter Olympics open in Turin, Italy. The Opening Ceremonies took several days to complete as each competitor was asked "How YOU doin’?" Continue Reading →

February 9th 2002

The Winter Olympics open in Salt Lake City, Utah. Celebrations in the city went on ’til all hours of the early evening; then prayer. Continue Reading →

September 25th 2001

Michael Jordan announces that he will return to the NBA as a player for the Washington Wizards. Jordan’s comeback was to promote a new thick-soled, orthopedic Nike shoe designed ... Continue Reading →

July 28th 2001

Orioles outfielder Melvin Mora’s wife, Gisel, delivers quintuplets, giving the couple six children. The Mora Family is now the subject of a Venezuelan TV show called "Melvin ... Continue Reading →

December 5th 2000

Karl Malone moves past Wilt Chamberlain into second place on the NBA’s all-time scoring list. All of Malone’s scoring came with little Mexican girls, however, whereas Chamberlain’s ... Continue Reading →

September 27th 2000

The United States Olympic baseball team beats the heavily-favored Cuban team to win gold. The U.S. team managed the victory after acquiring the entire Cuban team via defection after ... Continue Reading →

September 1st 1998

The Houston Comets beat the Phoenix Mercury in the decisive Game 3 of the first-ever WNBA Finals series. Following a single-game championship in the league’s inaugural season ... Continue Reading →

August 30th 1998

Toms River, N.J. becomes the first American team to win the Little League World Series since 1993. Deformed and freakishly huge thanks to growing up amongst radioactive nuclear waste, ... Continue Reading →

January 30th 1998

Darren Daulton retires from baseball. Daulton wanted to spend some time with his friends and family before the world ends in 2012. Continue Reading →

January 6th 1998

Don Sutton is selected to the Baseball Hall of Fame. Sutton then had to decide which perm he wanted to wear on his plaque. Continue Reading →

December 23rd 1997

Chicago Bulls head coach Phil Jackson becomes the quickest to reach 500 wins. Red Auerbach sent Jackson a congratulatory cigar which turned out to be a dried log of poo. Continue Reading →