"Look, we're more talented than the Broncos at most positions, especially on the offensive side of the ball," said Patriots head coach Bill Belichick. "On paper, we should defeat them pretty easily. Yet at the same time, we know that no matter what we do, Tebow will still beat us somehow at the end of the game. I can't wait to see how. It's going to be very entertaining. And I have a front row seat."
Patriots quarterback Tom Brady says the team has been working in hard in hopes of taking a huge early lead on Denver.
"We're entering this game with the mindset of how we played every opponent in 2007 when we were going for 19-0," said Brady. "We want to blow them out and never take our foot of the gas. If we can be up 40 going into the fourth quarter, I'm confident Tim Tebow will deliver a comeback that will be talked about for centuries. It will be an honor to have been the quarterback he defeated in the biggest comeback in football history. I'm pumped. I've never been so excited for a game in my life."
Video Tim Tebow: The Movie
From the director who brought you Jesus.
It's ironic that Tebow may be the one who causes people to worship someone before God.
Picture An Unstoppable Fantasy Lineup
His league awards 100 points for each intangible.
"There has been some talk lately about Tim being a contender for league MVP," said Goodell before the gathered media. "And that might just happen. But Most Valuable Player doesn't really capture all that Tim Tebow is. He's kind of like the MVP, combined with the NFL Man of the Year, combined with I don't know America. So I felt it was best to create a separate award in his honor that would go to the the player who exhibits the most Tebow-like characteristics. So we have it's the Tebow of the Year Award."
The commissioner was asked how a "Tebow-like" player would be determined.
"Well, first, I think we can all agree that there is no equal to Tim Tebow in football or in any other sport or walk of life," said the commissioner. "That's why I saw no reason to wait until he retires to name an award after him. If it was inevitable, why the wait? But back to your question, there's really no way to measure what a Tebow-like quality is or is not. But to quote Justice Stewart on the issue of pornography no offense, Tim 'I know it when I see it.' It's like that on the football field. Sometimes you see something happen, like a team winning a game or something, and you think: 'That was so Tebow right there.'"
Scizzim scazzum intangibles he hazzum.
Picture Tebow: The Back Tattoo
That tattoo looks bad, but it has great intangibles.
Picture Tim Tebow: The Blanket
For when you want to cover yourself with creepiness.
"Wow, there is literally not a person in the world I would want to have as my quarterback any less than Tim Tebow," said Broncos head coach John Fox. "Including children and the crippled. Every snap he takes makes me wretch. But the guy is a winner."
With Tebow at the helm, the Broncos have gone from having one of the worst records in the NFL to being on the verge of first place with their unorthodox offense looking more inept with every game. Tebow has completed only 45-percent of his passes in his five starts and only 11 total passes in the last two games, yet the Broncos have the 5th-longest winning streak in the league.
"Every night I dream about cutting him," says Broncos vice president John Elway. "Not having to watch him play quarterback for my team would fill me with joy I have never experienced. But he won't stop winning. I'm helpless. There's no way to end his reign of terror winning."