It might end up being the best offer Tebow gets.
"I am as shocked as anyone, trust me," said Sanchez. "Every day I stay employed as a quarterback is both a blessing and a total and complete surprise. I am also kind of stunned that the Jets are still considered a professional football team."
The Jets had signed veteran quarterback David Garrard earlier in the offseason and drafted Geno Smith in the second round of the NFL Draft, further crowding an already muddled quarterback situation on the team.
"I had an idea that my days were numbered, considering that they wouldn't put me on the field at all last year," said Tebow. "But holy shit, how does Mark Sanchez still have a job? And, yes, I just cursed for the first time in my life. It seems 100-percent appropriate in this situation. Mark Sanchez? Guy fking sucks."
Picture Tim Tebow: Now on Clearance
They put the sticker over his face because he's crying.
"I think I've seen all I need to see from Mark after this week," said Ryan. "He might not be the answer at quarterback. It's time to maybe give Tim a shot to start."
Ryan said he informed Tebow on the sidelines as the final seconds ticked away on the Jets' season that he would be promoted to starter.
Tebow reportedly responded by saying, "You really make me want to say curse words."
"Tim is an important part of this team," said head coach Rex Ryan. "There's not another guy on this team I'd want to force our opponent to prepare for a little bit, only to not play in a game at all. In my opinion, he's the best player in the NFL when it comes to not playing."
As first-string decoy, Tebow will get to stand in front of all of the other Jets' bench players, right on the edge of the field. He will also wear his helmet at all times, as though he is about to enter the game at any moment.
"It's obviously nice when your coaches recognize your abilities," said Tebow. "I'm pretty excited to wear my helmet and it is my goal to be the best decoy in the National Football League. I hope to go the the Pro Bowl this year as the AFC's decoy."
Granted, Rex Grossman has proven to be a failure, but high-level logic is a post-graduate course at Florida.
"Mark S.? Do I know a Mark S.?" Jets lineman Matt Slauson, who was quoted ripping Tim Tebow's abilities the previous day, wondered aloud. "Who is this from?"
Jets' starting quarterback Mark Sanchez then began clearing his throat loudly and winking in Slauson's direction.
"Oh. Right. Mark SSSSSS.," Slauson said, noticing Sanchez trying to catch his attention. "Gotta love Mark S."
The 12-plus gift baskets suspiciously matched the same number of Jets who anonymously spoke to the New York Daily News yesterday and had negative things to say about Tebow. Sanchez said he didn't make the connection.
"Oh, really? I didn't even see any gift baskets. Gift baskets? I didn't get one. If I was giving out gift baskets, wouldn't I give one to myself? It doesn't even make sense," he said, refusing to make eye contact. "And what's this news story you're talking about? I don't follow the news. And I definitely wasn't one of the 'more than 12' who said negative things about Tim, if that's even what the news story you're referring to was about."
"I'm happy with our gameplan, coach Ryan, and most importantly God," said Tebow to sideline reporter Trisha Dotson, moments before being caught crouched underneath a bleacher railing, repeatedly chanting TE-BOW in what sounded like an altered, deeper voice. "I couldn't do any of this without God."
"Yeah, that was definitely Tebow," said Jets left tackle, D'Brickashaw Ferguson. "He uses that voice when he's yelling for other players to get off of him in pileups. I think he thinks it's more intimidating. He calls it his 'scary, get off me' voice."
Regardless of the voice used, the crowd did not partake in the chant; most likely knowing the third year quarterback would bring equal if not worse results. Also, the fact the Jets were playing in Seattle may have factored into the chant not catching on.
He somehow still lost to Mark Sanchez.