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7 Reasons the Ravens Suck and Will Get Killed in Super Bowl XLVII

1. Joe Flacco sucks. Stop trying to convince yourself that he's good. He's not. Deep-down Ravens fans know it, too. They've seen him constantly overthrow receivers and ... Continue Reading →
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Roger Goodell Accepts Invitation to Speak at a New Orleans Dark Alley “That is totally not a trap”

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell was scheduled to speak today at a dark alley near the intersection of Bourbon Street and St. Ann Street in New Orleans' famed French Quarter. "I'm ... Continue Reading →
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Sports Media Missed Obvious Ray Lewis Deer Antler Spray Warning Signs

Sports media: asleep at the wheel on steroids since 1990. Continue Reading →
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Colin Kaepernick Has Very Specific Instagram Tastes

Yeah, it’s attractive females. Continue Reading →
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Maryland: The Naive State

They’re really going to be upset when it breaks that Cal Ripken, Jr. took roids. Continue Reading →
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Your OFFICIAL 2013 Puppy Bowl Scouting Report

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Saints Fan Achieves Pinnacle of Saints Fandom: Televised Roger Goodell Hating

Love of football and hatred of Roger Goodell unites all fan bases. Continue Reading →
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Colin Kaepernick Arm Cake

It’s pretty good until you get to the hard, bone-like interior. Continue Reading →
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The Lord Very Disillusioned by Ray Lewis Steroids Allegations

The Lord says He is very upset over a report in Sports Illustrated that Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis used deer antler spray, which contains an illegal performance enhancer, ... Continue Reading →
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If the Players Asked the Super Bowl Media Day Questions

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Alex Smith

Alex Smith Checks Out New Orleans Voodoo Shop For Shits, Giggles, Voodoo

by Ross Snow The San Francisco 49ers team plane landed in New Orleans late Sunday night, giving players and staff a quick chance to explore the city before beginning their rigorous ... Continue Reading →
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Madden 13’s Super Bowl Player Ratings Update

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NFL: Denver Broncos at Baltimore Ravens

Joe Flacco: “I know I have the unconditional support of Ravens fans unless I suck again”

Baltimore Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco said today that he appreciates the love and support of Ravens fans as he prepares to quarterback his team in Super Bowl XLVII. "Their ... Continue Reading →
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Ray Lewis Plays in Pro Bowl After Hearing There Are Cameras There

Baltimore Ravens linebacker Ray Lewis became the first player in NFL history to play in a Pro Bowl in the same season as his team will play in the Super Bowl Sunday night when he took ... Continue Reading →
San Francisco 49ers v Baltimore Ravens

The 9 Players On Every Super Bowl Team

*1. The Career Validation Guy* This guy is a veteran who often has been talked about as one of the best in the sport, but he has yet to get "a ring." Winning one will forever ... Continue Reading →
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David Akers Attempting to Trademark “Akersing”: Missing a Game-Winning Field Goal in the Super Bowl

San Francisco 49ers kicker David Akers has filed a trademark for "Akersing," which is when a veteran kicker well past his prime who everyone knows shouldn't be relied ... Continue Reading →
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Ravens Release Ray Lewis: “He has become a distraction”

by Ross Snow In wake of the increasingly excessive, round-the-clock coverage of Ray Lewis' retirement, career, and legacy, the Baltimore Ravens have decided to cut ties with the ... Continue Reading →
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NFL Loses Rights to Use the Term “Super Bowl”

In a historic blunder that has far-reaching implications for the NFL’s marketing, the league announced today that it had lost the right to the term “Super Bowl," forcing the ... Continue Reading →