February 7, 2013

News Ravens Hold Parade to Celebrate No Longer Officially Being Associated with Ray Lewis

Ravens Hold Parade to Celebrate No Longer Officially Being Associated with Ray Lewis - Image 1
Tens of thousands of Ravens fans packed the streets of Baltimore on Tuesday to celebrate the fact their beloved franchise will no longer be officially associated with Ray Lewis, one of the most despised and over-exposed athletes of all-time.

"I love Baltimore and I love the Ravens," said Brianna Barker, a Baltimore resident. "But it sure was difficult to root for this team the past 13 years with someone like Ray Lewis on the team. What an awful person. What a phony. We feel like a cloud has been lifted with him retiring. I don't feel dirty being a Ravens fan anymore. I don't have any moral hangups about being a Ravens fan anymore. None of us do. And we're all out here today to celebrate that."

The dancing, glory-hogging Lewis has unfortunately been the face of the franchise since he was drafted in the team's first draft in 1996 — and even more so since he was involved in a double murder in 2000.

"Think about it: this franchise hasn't played one game, not one game, without having Ray Lewis on the roster," said head coach John Harbaugh. "We are entering a new era here. An era in which no one has to try to defend that guy anymore. Ravens fans don't always have to be on the defensive anymore. They don't have to live in shame. That's why you can see the happiness on the faces of everyone who came out today. I know I'm much prouder to be a Raven today than I ever was before."

Lewis was part of the parade that wound its way through the city's downtown streets and concluded just outside the city limits where Lewis was dropped off. The caravan then sped back to M&T Bank Stadium to change the locks.

/ 0 comments / Keep Reading »
February 07, 2013

Video Ray Rice Nearly Died During Baltimore's Super Bowl Parade

Lack of production, fumbles, embarrassment. Maybe Ray Rice and Joe Flacco swapped bodies for the postseason.

/ 0 comments / Watch Video »
Filed Under   NFL   Baltimore Ravens   Ray Rice   Super Bowl XLVII
February 06, 2013

Video Baltimore Cop Does the Ray Lewis Dance

She should destroy all evidence of this tape.

/ 0 comments / Watch Video »
February 05, 2013

Video The Taiwanese Animation of Super Bowl XLVII

Are Taiwanese animations ELITE animations?

/ 0 comments / Watch Video »
February 05, 2013

Picture How to Watch Football with Your Distant Brother

His fake body could lose some weight.

/ 0 comments / View Picture »
Filed Under   NFL   Super Bowl XLVII

Poll Is Joe Flacco ELITE now that he has a Super Bowl title?

1897 votes / / 0 comments / View Poll »
February 04, 2013

Video Ravens Fan Song is as Bad as You'd Expect and Much Worse

Feels like I've been stabbed in the ears.

/ 0 comments / Watch Video »
Filed Under   NFL   Baltimore Ravens   Super Bowl XLVII
February 04, 2013

Picture Church Sign Guys Knows God Isn't a Ravens Fan

God is probably a Jaguars fan. He's a big fan of the less fortunate.

/ 0 comments / View Picture »
Filed Under   NFL   Baltimore Ravens   Super Bowl XLVII
February 04, 2013

Video Celebrating Ravens Fan Jumps from Building Into Tree

So it appears God favors both him and Ray-Ray.

/ 0 comments / Watch Video »
Filed Under   NFL   Baltimore Ravens   Super Bowl XLVII
February 4, 2013

News Beyonce's Nipple Falls Off in Horrific, Blood-Drenched Super Bowl Halftime Show Accident

Beyonces Nipple Falls Off in Horrific, BloodDrenched Super Bowl Halftime Show Accident - Image 1
Pop superstar Beyonce was rushed from the Superdome to a nearby New Orleans hospital Sunday night after her right nipple was torn off while performing during the Super Bowl XLVII halftime show, leading to a sudden stop to the show and significant blood loss.

Footage from the performance is still being reviewed, but early indications are that the singer's nipple became snagged by a metal wire in her top's chest support and then was violently torn from her body during a dance gyration. Whatever the cause, the incident shocked and horrified tens of millions watching on TV and resulted in shrieks and screams from those in the crowd, many who started vomiting or crying.

The singer laid on her back on the stage, her background music still going, and clutched her right breast, screaming: "Ahhhhh! AHHHHHH! My nipple! My nipple is off! Help! My nipple! MY NIPPPLLLLLEEEEE!"

Several feet away her nipple sat, looking like the chopped off top of an eggplant.

The incident is being called the worst wardrobe malfunction since Janet Jackson exposed a bare breast while performing at the Super Bowl halftime show in 2004.

"I know Beyonce is in a lot of pain right now, and we wish her a full recovery and we hope her nipple can be re-attached," said NFL commissioner Roger Goodell. "But at least her nipple was not exposed in a sexual way. We wouldn't want to subject young people to seeing something like that. And the FCC wouldn't care for it much either."

/ 0 comments / Keep Reading »
Filed Under   NFL   Super Bowl XLVII