Their defensive coordinator may be able to get a job in Wyoming one day.
So it turns out the Colts are not the most embarrassing thing about Indianapolis this year. What an upset.
1. The Rooting Interest Fan
He is a diehard of one of the teams in the game and will be rooting with everything he's got. This is one of the biggest nights of his sports fandom life and he's taking it seriously.
Then, during the kickoff, someone will walk in front of the television and he'll suddenly realize he's made a grave mistake: "Oh, no. I'm surrounded by morons. This is the last place I should be watching this game."
If he lives close enough, he'll make a break for it at halftime and try to get home before the start of the third quarter to watch it on his own TV. If not, you'll find him in an upstairs bedroom, huddled close to the television. So no one walk in front of it. And because it's only a 13-inch TV and he can barely see what's happening. Should have sold that kidney for game ticket money, guy.
2. The Bitter Fan
He doesn't have a rooting interest in the game because his team didn't make it, but he is a football fan and wants to watch as much of the game as he can but he plans to be quite bitter about it. His goal is to ruin the viewing experience for the fans of the Super Bowl teams.
He will loudly say things like: "They lost to the Rams this year; they're not that good," and "At least my team's quarterback isn't a pussy," just to try to piss them off. He will ultimately fail, just like his crap team.