Opinion If Famous Sports Movies Were About the Olympics
Eight Men Out
Olympic Badminton competitors are thrown out of the Olympics for losing on purpose.
Alternate title: "BADminton"
Chariots of Fire
British athletes perform much better at the London 2012 Olympics than most expected, allowing their countrymen to breathe a big sigh of relief and at least temporarily avoid getting mocked by the rest of the world.
Alternate title: "It Could Have Been Much Worse"
"Rocky"
A little-known Olympic boxing judge enables a huge upset by accepting a bribe from an inferior boxer's handlers.
Alternate title: "Same Old Boxing'
"Rudy"
An unathletic loser lives his dream of playing for a sports powerhouse.
Alternate title: "Laettner"
Video Olympic Diving Failure
If Bellyflopping ever gets into the Olympics, he's the favorite.
News Winter Olympians Dead to Us
"I honestly can't even remember anyone else besides Shaun White," said one American fan at the London Summer Games. "I know there's that one ice skater guy from the Subway commercials and then I think there was some skiing girl? Or was that snowshoes? Is snowshoeing a winter sport? Ah, who cares."
Experts say such a phenomena occurs once every two years, usually prompted by the beginning of a new Olympic season. Or simply because the day after the Winter Olympics always comes and everyone moves on.
"The public can only soak in so many storylines," said TV analyst Dave Jennings. "What with Phelps, Bolt and the U.S. gymnasts, the public doesn't have the mental capacity to store memories of Winter Olympians past. It's strange, because just two years ago, I was so invested in all the Olympians, especially with that flamboyant figure skater, Johnny Weir. But nowadays, I had to actually Google 'flamboyant figure skater' to even come up with his name."
Opinion The 8 Worst Athletes at the 2012 London Games
Timi Garstang – Men's Track, 100m, Marshall Islands
Mirco Scarantino – Men's Weightlifting, Italy
Scarantino earned the title of Weakest Olympic Male Weightlifter. He finished 14th in his weight class with a Snatch of 213 pounds (97 kg) and a Clean and Jerk of 281 pounds (128 kg) for a total of 495 pounds (225 kg). The USA's Holley Mangold finished 10th in the women's heavyweight division, yet still out-lifted Scarantino by 33 pounds.
Masempe Theko – Women's Swimming, 50m Freestyle, Lesotho
The 50m Freestyle is one length of the pool. Dive in, swim, swim, swim, swim, touch the wall. Quick. Fast. Except in this case. Theko swam 50 meters in 42.35 seconds. The women's 50m was won with a time of 24.05. You have to wonder if a lifeguard was tempted to jump in at some point during Theko's long journey to the other side of the pool.
Picture Olympic Weightlifter Doing It Wrong
I love the clean and jerk and drop it on your head.
News Tie on Olympic Village's Outside Gate Signals That All The Athletes Are Having Sex Again
"They've been doing that a lot lately," said a janitor who had arrived to mop floors in the Village last night. "They're having sex all the time in there. It's getting pretty annoying."
London 2012 organizers provided the Athletes Village with 150,000 free condoms and the villagers have been making quick use of them.
"They can't give them to us and then complain we're using them," said a Dutch hurdler, speaking while inside of a Venezuelan swimmer. "We don't have to put a tie on the front gate either. We're just doing it to be polite. We're not going to be made to feel guilty about getting laid constantly. We've been training our whole lives for this opportunity."
Video Amazing LEGO Recreation of Usain Bolt's 100m Victory
It's hard to even tell it's not the actual footage.
