English Street Urchins Try to Steal Olympic Flame

Off to the orphanage! Continue Reading →

Dan O’Brien Falls Off a Chair at U.S. Olympic Trials

He's never been good at the Olympic Trials. Continue Reading →

England Quits Sports

In a joint statement issued today by British Prime Minister David Cameron and Queen of England Elizabeth II, it was announced that England is quitting sports forever. The decision ... Continue Reading →

“The Dream Team” Documentary Sequels

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Note to Little Girls: Don’t Step in Front of a Running Usain Bolt

Little girls should be the new hurdles. Continue Reading →

Olympic Torch Relay Already 3 Weeks Behind Due to Plodding British Runners

The British leg of the Olympic torch relay kicked off in Cornwall, England on May 19th, but unless the relay schedule is modified, Olympic officials say the torch is currently on pace ... Continue Reading →

Gillette Understands the Power of Assvertising

Perhaps they use Gillette razors to shave their butts. Continue Reading →

Slumping Michael Phelps Nearly Drowns During 200-Meter Butterfly

Following two second place finishes last weekend at the Charlotte Grand Prix event, 14-time Olympic gold medal winner Michael Phelps struggled even more today at the Miami Swim Nationals, ... Continue Reading →

The London 2012 Olympics are Already Ruined

Oh, well. Forget the Olympics then. Let's all just go to war. Continue Reading →

Great Moment in Olympics History

He used the torch to set fire to an ex-girlfriend’s house. Continue Reading →

Canada Will Not Win Gold in Hammer Throw at the London Olympics

Of course, Canada doesn’t win gold in anything at any Summer Olympics. Continue Reading →

Remembering the Time a Drunk Woman Won Hurdling Gold at the Olympics

I guess a six-pack of Fosters doesn't show up on Olympic drug tests. Continue Reading →

Victory Before Beer, in the Clear

Beer: the official training beverage of Europe. Continue Reading →

Updated London 2012 Olympics Logo

It’s the only event the British team might win. Continue Reading →

Faces of Divers are Scarier Than Faces of Death

The world’s sexiest divers. Continue Reading →

The 10 Worst Losses in USA Sports History

#10 – U.S. Women in the 2011 World Cup Final Why it was bad: The U.S. was a heavy favorite against Japan and twice had a lead late in the match before giving up an equalizer ... Continue Reading →

Beijing Olympic Organization > Super Bowl Organization

Our dancers should have trained in diapers. (via Total Pro Sports.com) Continue Reading →

Chinese Hurdler is the Most Awesomely Destructive Hurdler of All-Time

Perhaps he thought it was just a sprint heat. Continue Reading →