One day we will learn that chlorine poisons the brain.
Other than some Olympics, nah.
#1 The Scourge of Butt Fingering
#2 Penis Biting
They're Britain's No. 1 fart manufacturer.
"We were hoping this would be the Olympics that would do it, but just one glance at the front page of the newspaper this morning showed me that the entire world is going to hell in a handbasket," Ban Ki-moon, Secretary-General of the United Nations. "We're completely fked."
While the interlocking Olympic rings represent the unity of all nations and the Games' fortnight is to halt war across the world, most feel the Olympics just motivate humans to kill each other more.
"All the Olympics does is promote nationalism and cause a lot of murderous and genocidal rage to get pent up until the Games are over, upon which all that explodes in bloodshed and actual explosions the moment the cauldron is extinguished," said IOC president Jacques Rogge. "But, hey, the idea of the Olympics is nice even if it doesn't work in practice."
"I get stopped all the time on the street and people are like: 'Ohmigod! You are that girl who does the face! Do it! Do it! Do it!" said Maroney. "And I do it. I'm happy to be famous for something. But there is actually much more to me than just the face that earned me my moment of fame."
When not making her face, Maroney works as a gymnast, flipping and tumbling around the non-face parts of her body, remarkably, are what she has spent most of her life training.
"I'm kind of good actually," says Maroney. "I was in the Olympics for it and everything. It was pretty great."
And that's where the meme girl's story gets even more remarkable: it turns out the infamous "not impressed" photo was taken at the Olympics, an athletics festival held every four years, after she failed to win a gold medal.
"Strange but true," said Maroney, laughing. "It was on national TV, too. On tape delay. But it was still on. If you track the history of the meme, it actually goes back to the Olympics when they were held in London. Amazing, right?"