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Delaware head men’s basketball coach Monte Ross told program boosters today that his top priority in his fourth year on the job will be to make sure he does not lock up in-state recruiting.

“At most schools that would be a top priority, but not here,” said Ross. “If other universities want to come in here and take our so-called top talent, hey – more power to them. They’ll just be teams that we can then beat. Because, trust me, for every player we have from Delaware on this team, we are going to be that much worse.”

Ross says his situation is like that of many coaches from small states.

“I’m good friends with the head coach at Montana,” said Ross. “When he started there he recruited back-to-back Montana Mr. Basketballs. And then he went 0-52 in his first two seasons and vowed to never get another player from Montana. That will be my goal at Delaware. I know that if I ever have to resort to a Delaware recruit to fill the roster, I have already failed.”

Roy Halladay, star pitcher of Canada’s Toronto Blue Jays baseball club, has reportedly defected to the United States. Reports out of Toronto in recent weeks suggested Halladay was unhappy with his situation there, but it was not expected he would take such a drastic step. Sources close to Halladay say he has requested political asylum and placement on another baseball team. “Roy was born in Colorado and grew up there,” said Blue Jays GM J.P. Ricciardi. “I don’t know what the hell he’s thinking. He’s not Canadian. And we were going to trade him. We just were waiting it out to raise the price.”

A Las Vegas hotel attendant claims Pittsburgh Steelers star Ben Roethlisberger crashed his motorcycle into her vagina last summer while the quarterback was staying at Harrah's. Roethlisberger's attorney issued a statement on the civil charges of sexual assault: "The fact that there is no criminal investigation speaks volumes, in addition to the fact that this woman waited a year to make her claims. Also, the part about his motorcycle crashing into her vagina seems very suspect. Very. I have seen Ben's motorcycle. Unless this woman has an inordinately large vagina … and it would have to be HUGE, it's just … this story is crap, okay? Ben is very respectful to women and an accomplished rider and he would never crash his motorcycle into a woman's vagina."

Tour de France leader Alberto Contador maintains a cushion of 1 minute and 37 seconds through 16 stages in France — a lead thought to be insurmountable. But each day he wears the yellow jersey, Contador finds himself wishing someone else had it. "I look like absolute crap in yellow," said Contador. "It makes me look all pale and sickly. Blue or green would be great. Those colors make my eyes pop. Girls tell me that all the time. And I have a lot of cool riding shorts that go with blue and green. Or, really, any color but yellow. But having to wear yellow almost makes me want to lose." Former Tour winner Lance Armstrong says he has mentioned to Contador that yellow really brings out the blonde highlights in his hair, just in case Contador wants to give up the jersey.

A new reality show about Buffalo Bills receiver Terrell Owens debuted Monday night on Vh1. And while the media has long portrayed Owens the way it wants to, "The T.O. Show" revealed there is a different side of Owens — a very boring side that makes for exceptionally bland television. "I fell asleep, but I did think it was interesting that the media paints T.O. as an unlikable outcast," said Bills quarterback Trent Edwards. "When, in reality, he actually has several friends on his payroll." Show producer Roger Tobin said he hopes viewers realized that Owens is not the typical pro athlete: "He also enjoys beautiful women, expensive cars, jewelry and nightclubs."

Former major league baseball player Tommy John was forced into his 386th surgery last week in order to remove a malfunctioning gall bladder. John’s string of surgeries began in 1974 when he went under the knife to fix a shoulder ligament replacement procedure that extended his pitching career. Since then, various ailments have required Tommy John surgery nearly 400 times.
 “Tommy is a very ill man,” said Dr. Frank Marcallow, John’s general practitioner. “Tommy John surgery is so common because his body has always been very frail and sickly. He is still healthy enough to conduct daily activities, but he is essentially no more than a walking pile of scar tissue.”

Golfers at last weekend's British Open made an obvious show of support for recently-deceased music legend Michael Jackson, wearing white gloves on one hand during all four rounds of the tournament. "Michael was loved the world around," said PGA commissioner Tim Finchem, "but especially in Great Britain. Some of the European golfers even went the extra step by wearing extremely tight pants." And Tom Watson, who lost in a playoff to Stewart Cink, reportedly listened to Jackson's "You Are Not Alone" on repeat in the clubhouse locker room following his defeat. "You won't find bigger fans of R&B, pop music and androgyny than pro golfers," said Finchem.

Professional golfer Phil Mickelson, who chose to skip the British Open to be with his wife, has reportedly been petitioning Open Championship officials to let him into the field after learning that longtime nemesis Tiger Woods has missed the cut. "This is his chance to win the British," said a source close to Mickelson. "It's only two days away from his wife. She'll be fine. Phil is not asking for any special privileges here. He's not asking to be made the leader or anything. We understand he missed the first two days. Top-5 to start would be nice, though." Mickelson is reportedly on a plane to Scotland now while Open officials make their decision. Open chairman Thomas Witherby said Mickelson may be allowed to play in the final group on Sunday if Saturday's TV ratings prove to be poor.

The venerable Tour de France bike race is being contended again in the French countryside this July, the first time the event has been held in three years. American Lance Armstrong is just seconds off the lead. Armstrong won the Tour when it was last run in 2005. “No, we ran the race in 2006, 2007 and 2008. We never missed a year. You just weren’t paying attention the last three years,” said Marc-Andre Gaurcot, an apparent jokester and the director of the Tour de France.

A 17-year-old named Marcus Reynolds who participated at Lebron James' skills camp has reportedly been missing for a week. He was last seen being thrown into a van by two men wearing Nike apparel. A few hours before he was abducted, Reynolds failed to call out a screen on the James during a camp scrimmage. The pick caused James to briefly lose containment on his man, who passed to another camper, Jordan Crawford, who then dunked on the Cavaliers star.