Praises were to Allah most high today when Iranian Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad threw out the ceremonial first stone at Hafezleh Stadium where the Bargh Shiraz achieved victory over the Shensa Arak.

The infidel recipient of the stone, a woman who winked at a man that was not her husband, was most grateful that her head was the target of her esteemed leader’s disdain.

Mabrey, who lost his hearing during early infancy, has been a longtime attendee of Rockies games, but has often felt excluded from much of the fan experience. When Dinger, the team’s triceratops mascot, began the wave by running along the first base line flailing his arms, Mabrey knew it was a good opportunity for him to join in on the fun.

Franzen, who was reading a passage from his forthcoming novel,Freedom, briefly paused, but continued despite the disturbance, commenting that some of his fans were “more fanatical than others.”