Filed Under » Stephen Strasburg

The Washington Nationals are modifying their plan to shut Stephen Strasburg down this season after 160 innings — a plan that would leave the team without its ace pitcher as soon as mid-August, just as the pennant chase is heating up.

“We had high hopes for the team this year, but they are exceeding even those expectations,” said Nationals general manager Mike Rizzo of his first place club. “We believe we can compete for a World Series title this year, and we want to do it with Stephen at our disposal. Yet we want to protect his arm, too.”

So Rizzo and manager Davey Johnson have hit on an idea that will allow them to give Strasburg heavy innings even deep into October.

“Soft-tossing. We’ve told him that if any pitches crack 70 mph on the radar gun, he’s getting pulled,” said Rizzo. “But now that he’s exerting almost no effort out there, we feel we don’t need to put an innings or pitch count on him. I don’t know why we didn’t think of this before.”

Strasburg tried out the new approach in his latest start and got knocked around by the lowly Padres, giving up four runs on seven hits in four innings – his worst performance of the season.

The Washington Nationals expressed concern today over the latest physical setback for rookie pitching phenom Stephen Strasburg, but maintained they are positive about his long-term stability.

“He is experiencing some discomfort and that is never something you want for a player, of course,” said Nationals general manager Mike Rizzo. “However, most of the pain seems to be centralized in a huge elbow tumor he has suddenly developed, so it’s nothing structurally wrong, which is an obvious relief.”

The Nationals discovered the elbow tumor during an MRI on Strasburg’s strained forearm, but it had been quite visible for several days, protruding off of his right elbow to the size of a watermelon. The team hopes the tumor can be easily removed with out-patient surgery, although that surgery will present some complications as Strasburg developed hemophilia on Tuesday. He also must now breathe pure oxygen at all times due to Strasburg Syndrome, a newly-discovered lung disease affecting Stephen Strasburg.

“These are typical injuries for a young pitcher throwing significant innings for the first time in his career,” said Rizzo. “The fact of the matter is that we were planning to limit his work down the stretch anyway, so everything is in line with our plan.”

Rizzo then excused himself to continue administering mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to the flame-throwing rookie in hopes Strasburg can make his next scheduled start.

Even before his dominant Major League debut, StephenStrasburghad been turning heads with his overpowering fastball and devastating curve. But today the 21-year-old right hander raised eyebrows for a much different reason, announcing at a morning press conference that he is dropping his birth name in favor of the mound name, Ace Heater.

The change, which is effective immediately, was made with the hopes of improving the young flamethrower’s marketability.

“Cary Grant was born Archibald Leach. Rita Hayworth was Margarita Cansino,” said Scott Boras, Heater’s agent. “Without their stage names, they never would have made it as big as they did. If actors can do it, we see no reason why baseball players can do it. And, let’s be honest, Stephen Strasburg isn’t any better than Archibald Leach. At the same time, Ace Heater is way more kickass than Cary Grant.”

Although not everyone agrees, most notably Heater’s mother, Mary Ann Strasburg.

“Ace Heater!? Who the heck does he think he is?” said Mary Ann. “What’s wrong with the name Stephen? There’s no St. Ace, I’ll tell you that much. Nor does he have a great uncle Ace who served in World War II, may he rest in peace.”

According to Heater, the decision to change his name was an easy one. After Boras pitched him the idea of being the first person to have a mound name, it wasn’t a matter of if he was going to take one, but what it was going to be.

“At first I was pretty set on Chaz Kay, but Scott told me it was too subtle. I tried to meet him halfway with Chuck Kay, but then we decided that sounded too much like Jackee. And I’m just not sassy enough to pull that off.”

After hours of discussion and deliberation, the two finally agreed on a name. Heater says he’s satisfied with the name he chose because it highlights his two greatest attributes, “being a pitcher and throwing really fast.”

Washington Nationals phenom pitcher Stephen Strasburg impressed in his major league debut Tuesday night when he struck out three Pittsburgh Pirates batters using just one of his awe-inspiring pitches.

“I’m not sure what happened,” said Pirates first baseman Garrett Jones, who was the first batter put down by Strasburg in the top of the seventh. “I think what it was is that he threw the first pitch so fast, it ripped right through the catcher, the umpire, the back wall of the stadium and then circumnavigated the earth – two times to get me to strike out, and then six more times to set down the two guys behind me. Needless to say, it was a really fast pitch. And I think that was even his change-up.”

Pirates outfielder Delwyn Young, who was up after Jones, remembers the feat differently.

“Really? That’s what Garrett says happened?” said Young. “All I remember is seeing Strasburg throw the first pitch and then Pudge Rodriguez’s glove hand tear apart in an explosion of blood and bone. I passed out then. When I woke up, the inning was over. I assumed I was called out by forfeit or something because I was laying passed out in the batter’s box. But I guess maybe in my shock I came to, went to the plate and watched as that pitch came around the globe three more times.”

Even Strasburg, the greatest pitcher ever, says he doesn’t know for sure how he set down the order on just one pitch.

“I’ve struck out the side before,” he said. “Actually, every inning I’ve ever pitched I’ve done it. But never on one pitch before. Three? Yes. Two pitches? A few times. But never just one pitch. The thing is, I don’t remember what happened exactly. I’m usually distracted when I’m on the mound because baseball is so easy for me that I’m lost in my head solving world hunger and figuring out how to stop oil spills and stuff. Which reminds me, I need to pass my findings onto the people down in New Orleans. I’ll just affix a note to a baseball and throw it all the way down there.”

Whatever pitch it was that Strasburg used to strike out the side, he knows it wasn’t his curveball.

“I can’t throw my curveball. It’s unsafe to do it in a stadium,” he said. “It actually curves so much that it starts out way into the stands before snapping back over the plate. I don’t want to hit some kid or old lady in the stands in the face.”

Nationals manager Jim Riggelman says striking out the side on one pitch is just the tip of the iceberg with Strasburg.

“Stephen is only 21 years old, his whole career is ahead of him,” he said. “Plus, maybe one day he’ll play for the Yankees. Ooh! Or even the Red Sox. Then not only would he be great, but he would be, like, super important and relevant.”