Filed Under » sports business

Recreation league officials across the United States are conducting investigations into alleged cheating by basketball, softball, soccer, and flag-football teams sponsored by Enterprise Rent-a-Car.

The allegations leveled against the automobile rental company, which has more than 6,000 locations throughout the United States, claim Enterprise is purposely hiring former NCAA athletes and then funneling them onto sponsored teams with the intention to dominate recreation and church leagues.

These "ringer teams" are not being warmly received by the competition.

"We used to have fun until these guys showed up," said Billy Jackson, age 44, of Goose Creek, SC. "Now these Enterprise ringer teams just keep winning. Most of my team never played baseball past Little League and we're supposed to beat a slow-pitch softball team composed entirely of former NCAA baseball players who are all 23 years-old? If you ask me, they should all be thrown out of the league."

Nike's basketball division announced today it has shuttered its shoe design department and from now on will only sell remakes of past basketball shoes.

"For decades we've been killing ourselves trying to come up with original look after original look for a functional item that is about 12 inches by four inches," said Charlie Denson, president of Nike Brand. "It's just not possible after a while."

Designers met earlier this week to plan the 2013 fall line and quickly made the decision.

"We were in the design meeting and realized that every new idea had already been done," said Denson. "Suddenly we all just kind of said: 'You know what? We've done everything that's possible. Everything. There is nothing else to do. F—k it. We're done.'"

Nike founder Phil Knight said he is "100-percent on board with the decision."

"You know, this has actually been a long time coming," said Knight. "You can only make a shoe so many ways. You can only add so many seams or zippers or color patches or straps or goddam air pockets. We've done it all. Every combination and permutation. We could sell some slightly modified crap and pretend it's new, but we would never do that here at Nike. That's now how we operate."

A day after cutting ties with disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong, Nike ended its longtime relationship with former basketball player Michael Jordan, citing increasing evidence that Jordan has no idea how to dress like a grown man.

"Due to the seemingly insurmountable evidence that Michael Jordan wears incredibly ugly jeans and misled Nike about his fashion sense for more than two decades, it is with great sadness that we have terminated our contract with him," the company said in a statement. "Nike does not condone the use of acid wash, distressing or patches in any manner."

During his playing career, Jordan was considered one of the most fashionable players in the NBA. But since he's retired, his wardrobe has become increasingly ridiculous, as the 50-year-old Bobcats owner leans toward ill-fitting jackets, ugly suits and jeans with holes in them.

This summer, evidence surfaced that Jordan's horrible fashion sense may have started during his playing career. Grainy video shown during a "Dream Team" documentary showed Jordan wearing some kind of multi-colored patterned matching shirt-and-shorts combo, which forced Nike to take action.

"When we partnered with Michael on Jordan Brand, we'd been led to believe he was a fashion icon," said Nike president Phil Knight. "Clearly this is not the case."