Nice work. Now you're out of the will.
Chicks dig the short ball.
Someone wants their inheritance now.
Picture Worst Name in Softball History
His ancestors were rapers. He comes from a long line of rapers.
No more. A few more. There you go. That's good. Remember that girl who batted in your game last week and she blooped one in front of you for a hit? Yeah, you don't want that to happen again.
Not that it looks like it's going to matter. What a terrible swing and miss on the first pitch. Ha! Why did they bat her? Do they want to lose?
"Come on! Strike her out!" says your second baseman.
Ooops. There's a ball. The count is 1-and-1.
"Don't walk her! Make her hit!" yells your shortstop. "This is an easy out!"
#1 The Official Equipment Guy
You don't know exactly what his salary is, but it's apparently more than yours. Or, if he does make what you make, he is spending 90-percent of his income on softball equipment. He's got several top-of-the line bats, a brand new glove, two batting gloves, cleats, baseball pants, moisture-wicking performance apparel under his uniform, wrist bands and an expensive bag to keep it all in. Estimated retail price: way, way, way too much for a softball league that has a grand prize of a $14 plastic trophy.
It's all well and good, though, as long as this guy isn't control of any sort of budget at work. If he is, expect your company to go under by the end of the year, just after his $400,000 remodel of the reception area is completed.
#2 The Injury Machine
He has yet to make it through a single game without suffering a major injury. Sprained ankle, torn hamstring, broken finger. There was even that time he got attacked by a swarm of bees in center field. Cal Ripken played 2,632 consecutive games against the greatest competition in the world; this guy can't even make it through 7 innings against Davis Refrigeration.
And while his injuries hurt the performance of your softball team, it's even worse at work. Good luck impressing a prospective client when this guy hobbles into the meeting covered in open sores.
PINE BLUFF, ARK. > SOFTBALL
Strapp, a 34-year-old father of three, hit a walk-off, three-run home run to lead his slow-pitch softball team, Pete's Grille, to a win over rival Borough Bar on Tuesday night. It was Strapp's fourth walk-off hit of the season a team record. Most impressive, however, is the fact that Strapp hit his blast legally drunk, as he was arrested for DUI on the way home from the game. It was his third DUI of the season, also a team record.