Picture Football vs. Handegg
Let's see how far you can throw the pigsk rubber bladder.
Picture England goalkeeper Robert Green chokes for the second time during his team's World Cup match versus the United States.
Picture A TV shop owner hurriedly turns off the volume on all of the televisions before the sound of vuvuzelas drives away his customers.
News 8 Soccer Terms to Help You Sound Like the Soccer Expert You're Not
The World Cup has begun. Billions of people all across the globe are ecstatic.
You, however, may have no idea what's going on. But do not fear! You can sound like a soccer expert by learning and using these 8 words and phrases.
Opinion A Xenophobe's Guide to Hating All 31 U.S. World Cup Opponents
The World Cup is almost here. And with 32 nations vying for the biggest title in the world's most popular sport, you bet you're going to want to root hard for the United States and against every other nation. (At least until the U.S. is eliminated, upon which you'll tell yourself you never cared about soccer in the first place.)
But who are these other countries? I mean, Cameroon? What have they ever done that's so hateable? Oh. Plenty.
Read on.
Picture Inter Milan's Jose Mourinho and Bayern Munich's Louis Van Gaal open the UEFA Champions League final with the traditional coaches' open-mouth kiss.
News Tragedy Strikes as 36 Fans Crushed Fleeing MLS Match
An all-too-common soccer tragedy that has hit many other parts of the world unfortunately struck the United States last night as 36 people were crushed to death – and dozens more injured – as fans packed against exit gates in fleeing a particularly unwatchable MLS match.
“This is a sad day for American soccer,” said MLS commissioner Don Garber. “But there’s always a bright side to everything, and I think we showed the world that American fans can be just as passionate about the sport and our league as they are the sport and their league. I just wish it was because people were trying to get into an MLS game, not out. I suppose that’s where the comparison kind of falls apart.”
Jason Lannan, who suffered cuts and bruises in the disaster during the Chicago Fire-DC United match at Washington’s RFK Stadium, said he is unsure why so many fans chose to suddenly leave the sloppy, mistake-ridden contest.
“From the beginning I got the sense that a lot of people in the stadium, for whatever reason, had no patience for a typical MLS game that night,” said Lampard. “We’re all soccer lovers – or we wouldn’t be there – so that’s why watching MLS is so difficult for us. It blows. And when the mistakes started to pile up – a bad turnover here, a missed mark there, a trip and fall over there – the disenchantment really started to boil. I decided I’d rather leave, beat traffic and maybe catch a European match on tape delay at home."
But, tragically, many other fans were thinking the same thing.
"As I looked around, I caught the eyes of a lot of other people who seemed to be ready to bolt, too," he said. "So I ran from my seat to try to beat everyone else to the parking lot. But everyone else got up and went, too. That’s when hell broke loose.”
Robin Reynolds, who lost her husband and a son in the disaster, says the scene as fans raced for the exit gates was unlike anything she has ever witnessed.
“A lot of people at MLS games have played soccer in the past and are in good shape, so the crowd was really moving at a fast speed,” said Reynolds. “But as soon as we hit the bottleneck at the exit gates, people started going down and were unable to push themselves back up – maybe because soccer players aren’t good with their hands, who knows."
Reynolds said she saw people falling all around here, including her husband and son.
"My dear son screamed out: ‘Save us, Thierry Henry!’ And as my husband had the life crushed out of him, I heard him cry: ‘Let heaven be like the Premiership, dear Lord.’ I miss them both so much already, but I hope they are both up there enjoying fast-paced, skilled soccer – just like it is supposed to be played. And I hope that one day I will join them. And maybe even as soon as this weekend, because I have tickets to another match and I'm not sure I can suffer through it alone."
Video Shoulda been you, pretty much every sideline reporter in America
I bet Ben Roethlisberger has had dreams almost exactly like this. (VIDEO)
