#10 Comeback Player of the Year Award
The NFL, Major League Baseball and the PGA Tour all name a Comeback Player of the Year. This would be a fine award if it was always given to a player returning from a serious injury or personal tragedy. But more often than not, the Comeback Player award is given to someone who simply sucked the previous year. All this award does is remind everyone how terrible you were.
Better Award Title: Wow You Really Blew Last Year Trophy
#9 Most Improved Player Award
Better Award Title: The Congrats on No Longer Sucking Award
#8 NASCAR's Most Popular Driver Award
NASCAR's Most Popular Driver is determined by fan votes. Dale Earnhardt, Jr. has won this award every year since 2003: nine consecutive years. Earnhardt, Jr. last won a race on June 15, 2008, and has never won a Sprint Cup. Even if another driver eventually wins this award, it's forever associated with failure.
Better Award Title: Dale Junior Cup or Congratulations On Being Loved By Moron NASCAR Fans Who Will Fall In Love With Whoever Is Marketed The Most Via Cheap Plastic Collectibles No Matter How Lousy Of A Driver He May Actually Be Trophy
2. Making you eat healthy foods like fruits and vegetables. So much for growing into the obese body of an NFL offensive lineman. Child obesity leads to NFL riches. Read a parenting book, mom!
3. Teaching you how to read. It's not a coincidence that no SEC school ever contacted you about playing after that. What was she thinking in teaching you about thinking?
4. Limiting your hours playing video games. Mom, you idiot, it's impossible to learn how to read a defense if you play less than five hours of Madden a day.
5. Making you go to bed at a reasonable time. You could have gotten a lot of training done at 2:00 a.m. when you were a little kid. You were robbed of countless extra practice time. Way to screw that up, MOM!
That was a different kind of header.
He has food poisoning or suddenly realized he's part of American soccer.
You usually want to head the ball higher up on the face.
Playlist April's Funniest Sports Videos
Kenny Powers has great influence on English soccer.
From more than 220,000 reader votes on nearly 70 athlete names
#25 Dean Windass
Fun Fact: Windass, a striker for Scarborough Athletic, creates space on the pitch with his violently smelly farts.
That's a backwards bicycle.
Paper bags. Look into it.