Video Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin as "Perfect Strangers"
The NHL could use some primetime, major network exposure.
News Sidney Crosby's Boo-Boo All Better
"The little guy took quite a bonk to the head, but he was very brave and hardly cried," said coach Dan Bylsma, who was there to hold Crosby's hand each time he went into the scary MRI machine. "It takes a real big boy to go back out on the ice after something like that happens, even if it takes 10 months to do so."
Crosby was triumphant in his return, notching two goals and two assists, acknowledging his mom with a cheerful wave after each.
"It was a really bad owie, and at first I didn't wanna do hockey anymore because it hurt so bad, but then I saw my friend Matt [Cooke] playing hockey, and I can do more pushups than him, and my dad said that he would take me to Coldstone if I tried practicing again, and so I did, and now I'm not scared no more," announced Crosby, who spoke to the media from a blanket fort he built in the locker room.
Video Hockey: It's as Serious as Making Bread
Hockey and bread = #CanadianPeopleProblems
Picture Michigan Hopes You Enjoyed Sidney Crosby's Career
Well, it would help the Red Wings win more Cups.
News Neurologist: "Tests show Sidney Crosby isn't just some big pussy"
"It's good news and bad news," said Dr. Emmitt Ralston of The Neurology Center at the University of Toronto. "The good news is that, despite Crosby's perception among many NHL fans, he's not being a big pussy. He's a tough kid. It's just that he has suffered a serious injury. That would be the bad news part."
Crosby last played in a game on January 5, 2011, and now it is expected he might miss training camp and the start of the NHL regular season if not longer.
"Missing almost a year for a concussion sounds like classic pussydom," said Dr. Ralston. "And that's what I initially expected to find. In fact, at first we didn't even do any sort of neurological tests. We just sat Sidney down and said: 'Hey, man. Why you being such a pussy?'"
It was only after Crosby repeatedly insisted that he was still experiencing concussion symptoms that Dr. Ralston and his staff relented and conducted a series of brain scans.
Picture Sidney Crosby Gets Offer to Score On Someone
She almost never takes away her 5-hole.
News NHL Hires Sidney Crosby Impersonator To Complete The Season
Blake Rawson, a 20 year-old university student in Toronto, has long been told he bears an uncanny resemblance to Crosby. An NHL marketing executive spotted Rawson at a Tim Hortons and mentioned the idea of hiring a look-alike Crosby as a joke to Bettman. Within in minutes the commissioner had signed Rawson to a contract.
"I don't know much about hockey or follow it very closely," said Bettman. "But I know that Sidney Crosby's continued absence will hurt NHL ratings as the playoffs approach. Getting a Crosby impersonator in there was an obvious decision."
In addition to having Rawson suit up for Pittsburgh in Crosby's No. 87 jersey, Bettman is making him available for NHL-themed events and birthday parties. So far the Crosby look-alike is booked on weekends through April. Several requests in Philadelphia and Washington, D.C. were turned down when the league learned the "childrens' birthday parties" were nothing more than Flyers and Capitals fans hoping to beat up someone who looks like Sidney Crosby in an alley.
Video Sidney Crosby Is Just Showing Off
This is what he does in his free time instead of having a life.
Video Sidney Crosby Now Skate-Handling to Keep Hockey Challenging
He should have landed a quad for added difficulty.



