According to an email exchange made public thanks to an ongoing lawsuit accusing O'Neal of crimes against humanity for his 1993 rap album, Shaq Diesel, the original unoriginal Superman was more than ready to make his comeback — once the right opportunity presented itself.

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Agent: Just spoke to Eminem's people. They want you in his next video. He's out of town doing promotional stuff right now, but he's even expressed interest in you doing a verse on his upcoming album. What do you say? I reached out to Sisqo's camp too, but they still haven't gotten back to me.

Shaq: Eminem aint dat sikk whts sisqos last name

Agent: Yeah, this white rapper thing is probably just a fad. I'm not entirely sure if Sisqo even has a last name. I think it's part of his mystique. Do you know Lil' Bow Wow? I hear he's getting ready to star in a film about playing in the NBA. Sounds right up your alley. The kid from Jerry McGuire is also supposedly attached. Have you ever dealt with him? Is he cool?

Shaq: Like mike is d nowitzki's movie and I kno im rght eminem iz wack def a 1 ht wnder I shld b da one rappng

Agent: How do you feel about getting some of your fellow all-stars together and finally make that Blue Chips sequel? You know, the one that takes place on the moon. I know Nolte's on board, he leaves a message on my machine about it at the same time every night. What are David Robinson and Vince Carter up to?

Shaq: He gottem in like mike too I want 2 rap or b president

Agent: You're too young to be president. I got you a rap video, though. Technically, it's not yours, but you play a huge role in it. How do you feel about losing a pick-up basketball game to a 13-year-old? His older brother is one of the Backstreet Boys.

Shaq: I dunno mn snds weak

Agent: No problem. I don't want to make you do anything you don't feel comfortable doing. Maybe it's best to keep a low profile this off-season. Did Penny find your new address yet?

Shaq: I wnt in on da video

Agent: When did you decide that?

Shaq: Wn I hrd kobe wuz intrsted