This is Dick Enberg. He is a 78 year-old married man and the voice of the San Diego Padres.
His signature catchphrase used to be "Oh, my!" That is no longer his signature catchphrase.
You know, they call me Dick.
He could also play for the Chargers.
- Rays - it's easy for the talented Rays to turn it around and stay positive because there are no fans in the stands to boo or heckle them
- Marlins - they have an evil owner who knowingly fielded a team of nobodies ... it's basically the plot of "Major League"!
- Indians - they are the Cleveland Indians and they're in last place ... it's basically the plot of "Major League"!
- Astros - at some point all of those strikeouts will probably start falling in for hits
- Padres - they'll turn things around as soon as they move the Petco fences in to 200-feet when they're batting and back to 700-feet when the opponent is batting
- Cubs - they'll start winning once they get to play all those NL Central games against the Astros and then go on a tear from there. What? Ohmigod. Poor Cubs.
Anyone who goes for the crotch deserves a broken collar bone.
"Hubba-hubba." Dick Enberg knows the lines that ladies like.
Chug chug chug chug. Being drunk is the only way to watch the Padres.
The Padres want the umps to rule "Wha? Totally not fair, man!"
Fat men sliding is even more entertaining than fat men running.
His talent is being wasted throwing out first pitches at Padres games.