You need a big penis to be on the news. Or big hands. One of them.
"We've been around since 1967," said general manager R.C. Buford. "Almost 45 years. We've won 17 division titles, 4 NBA titles there's not much more we can accomplish. And, as everyone saw in the playoffs, we don't have much left."
The Spurs say they don't want to be one of those franchises that sticks around too long and becomes a laughingstock.
"Look at teams like the Cleveland Browns and Detroit Lions in football," said Spurs owner Peter Holt. "They were great back in the '50s, but that was a long time ago and now they're big jokes. They should have quit years ago. This franchise is too proud to let our accomplishments be ruined like that."
He's just saying what people in Minnesota think.
In his defense, he's only 6'11".
The team was issued a technical foul for too many hypothetical players on the court.
How do they not know one of the most boring players of all-time?
Picture Jesus is Apparently a Spurs Fan
He punishes us for our sins by making us watch the Spurs.
Tommy John isn't the only athlete with a surgery named after him.
Here are a few others.