News Ryan Braun: "The stress of this scandal has caused me to lose 30 pounds of muscle"
"I am happy that the process has cleared my name," said Braun. "However, as you can imagine, the entire ordeal has been incredibly stressful. It has been hard for me to eat or work out due to all of the mental anguish. So I'd say I've lost a good 30 pounds of muscle."
Braun dismissed those who might suggest a drop in production this year or loss of weight would suggest he was using performance enhancers earlier in his career. When asked that question, he quickly consulted with his attorney in a whisper and then returned to the microphone: "To that I would say: 'Haters gonna hate.'"
Picture Kinko's Now Promoting its Urine-Shipping Services
Kinko's is the one endorsement deal that Ryan Braun may still get.
Picture Ryan Braun is All Like: "Wha, Brah?"
Ryan Braun's newest endorsement will be Kinko's.
Picture Wisconsin, Minnesota ... Same Thing
Who cares what shape their state is? This is sports, not geography, you nerd.
Video Ryan Braun Sucks at Hitting Inside-the-Park Home Runs
Hit them over the fence. You don't have to run. Duh.
Picture She Loves Ryan Braun and Giving Her Personal Info Away
A second date gets you her social security number. (via Midwest Sports Fans)

