"I mean, I know some of it," he said. "Even though it's a little weird, I'm completely cool with the 15-0, 30-0, 30-15, et cetera, all the way up to 40-30. But when it gets to what's it called 'deuce'? Hell if I know. I just play then and hope the body language of my opponent or the judge clues me in to what's going on."
Coaches and friends on Tour have tried to explain the scoring system to Federer, but he says he always loses interest during their explanation.
"I thought I had it all down pretty good once," said Federer. "But then the very next tournament I went to I got into some sort of tiebreaker or something they called it? I don't know. We were changing sides of the court and they were telling me I was up 9-8 and here I thought the scoring didn't go past six. Either way, I just kept playing and playing and playing until they gave me a trophy. To this day I still don't know if the trophy was for first place or second place."
If you're going to hit a shot, may as well kill someone with it.
Picture Roger Federer is Das Ass
It's German for something ass-related, probably.
Picture Terrifying Roger Federer Mask
It's terrifying yet, because it's Federer, also somehow quite boring.
"I've been looking through some of the results of recent tournaments, and there is a new guy whose name keeps coming up," said ATP chairman Adam Helfant. "No, not Andy Roddick. He's not good. It's a guy I never heard of before. He has a weird, foreign name."
Rafael Nadal says he has also noticed a new player who doesn't lose to him all the time.
"Just the other day I lost a match and I ran up to the net to shake Roger's hand only it wasn't Roger!" said Nadal. "It was a totally different, non-Roger Federer guy. I thought I was having a dream. Only it would be a recurring dream, because he's beaten me more than once, whoever he is, if he really does exist. Do you know his name? No? Then let's call him Dream Man."
Note in the middle of the picture is Qatar's famed penis building.
"I thought I played well tonight," said Federer. "And I felt a lot freer on the court without being encumbered by pant legs or sleeves. I can see why the women dress like this."
I suppose the shot could be fake. But him having a personality seems amazingly legit. Wow!