June 17, 2013

News Robert Kraft Agrees to Give Vladimir Putin Tim Tebow in Exchange for Super Bowl Ring

Robert Kraft Agrees to Give Vladimir Putin Tim Tebow in Exchange for Super Bowl Ring
An growing diplomatic incident between American football team owner Robert Kraft and Russian president Vladimir Putin was resolved today when the Kraft agreed to give Putin backup quarterback Tim Tebow in order to have his Super Bowl XXXIX ring returned.

"I know Bill [Belichick] and Josh McDaniels had hopes that Tim would add another element to our offense, but we've won many games without him over the years. We'll be fine," said Kraft. "And the State Department was adamant that I do everything in my power to make this disagreement over the ring go away. I think this is a good resolution."

Kraft had previously claimed that Putin stole his ring during a 2005 meeting in Moscow, whereas Putin's representatives insisted Kraft gave it to the Russian leader as a gift. The truth may never be revealed now that both men say they are moving on.

"I am very glad with receiving this Tebow," said Putin. "He is an American superhero, yes? I think we could have much use for him here in Russia. We will test him and use him to achieve many glorious aims of the motherland."

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December 27, 2011

Video Patriots Owner Robert Kraft Has No Friends

Ignoring your bosses high-five attempt is definitely a fireable offense.

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