Filed Under » Rob Ryan

As football fans prepare for the "HarBowl" or "Superbaugh" — depending on which nickname you prefer for the Jim Harbaugh vs. John Harbaugh Super Bowl — two other coaching brothers have a match-up of their own in the works.

"Yeah, me and that fat shitstain of a twin brother of mine, Rob, are going to hang out this weekend," said New York Jets head coach Rex Ryan. "We'll probably shoot some pool, go to Hooters and maybe fire up the ol' Nintendo."

Rex Ryan says he had a Nintendo at his "bitchin' pad" back when he was defensive coordinator at Morehead State from 1990 to 1993.

"Late 20s, one bedroom apartment in Morehead, Kentucky, cable TV with the nudie channels, a Nintendo," he said. "Yeah, I was living the life. My dickhead brother was at Tennessee State then and he'd pop over on free weekends and we'd go all out on Tecmo Bowl from morning to night."

Rob Ryan says the Harbaugh brothers are getting all the coaching attention right now, but he knows the Ryans are the best.

"You want to know how I knew I was the best defensive mind in the game?" asked the unemployed Rob Ryan, sitting shirtless on his brother's couch. "I beat Rex one day and he had Bo Jackson and the Raiders."

Dallas Cowboys defensive coordinator Rob Ryan revealed today that Rex Ryan is not his only brother and, in fact, he has a conjoined twin named Roger Ryan who is attached at his stomach.

"Roger is just a little guy, but we all love him a great deal," said Rob, pulling up his shirt to reveal a his twin protruding from his midsection. An identical brother with Rob and Rex Ryan, the Jets head coach, Roger has flowing gray hair and a goatee.

"How you f—kers doin' out there?" said Roger. "Any of you ladies ever done it with a conjoined?" he added before Rob pulled his shirt back down over Roger's body.

"I felt it was time to reveal the truth," said Rob. "People were asking me about the weird protuberance under my shirt, asking if I had some extreme tumor or even if I was pregnant. No, it's just Roger. And he's put some weight on lately. It's been a stressful season."

Rob also blamed Roger for some of the late-game calls that have seen the Cowboys defense collapse repeatedly in the fourth quarter of games.

"I just want to set the record straight, it's Roger who has been making those calls," said Rob, as muffled yells of "You f—king lie, you fat f—k!" came from under his shirt. "Yeah, Roger is pretty much a total moron. I have to stop listening to him," said Rob, punching at his stomach until Roger quieted.