It's okay. Rex Ryan likes the smell of farts. It's his scent.
Gallery 5 Tattoos Rex Ryan Already Has
Picture Rex Ryan's New Calf Tattoo
It's a great way to get more fans in New Jersey.
The source cites the fact that Ryan has contracted his cartoonishly large stomach and filled his lungs with enough breath to conceivably pass through his vocal chords, an evolutionary process generally befitting a human being who is about to form sounds, as evidence that Rex Ryan is about to say something. As to why it's assumed the content of his speech will be asinine in nature, the source referenced the fact Rex Ryan is a fking idiot who says stupid things literally all the time.
Speculation has already begun over what exactly Ryan is going to say. According to an ESPN.com InstaPoll, 20-percent of those questioned feel he'll make a baseless prediction regarding the Jets' success in the upcoming season, with 35-percent predicting he'll continue his long-standing tradition of launching into an expletive-laden tirade about something no one even asked him about. The remaining 45-percent assume he'll insult an opponent who has enjoyed infinitely more success than Ryan has up to this point in their respective NFL career.
I bet they pulled some crazy hot feet back in the day.
I don't get it. Why is he wearing a shirt? I think he'd be naked by now.
"I don't know if this is some kind of cruel fking joke or what," said Ryan, of the package that was sent to his house. "But everyone who knows me knows I want to see feet. The more feet the better."
The gift of socks, which had a Boston postmark, was balanced out by Ryan's wife giving him a 12-by-6-foot mural of her toes.
"That's the greatest piece of art I've ever seen," said Ryan. "It's beyond art, really. No art could be this amazing. Only feet."
Rex says he plans to have the mural hung above the couple's foot-shaped bed. He used the socks to stoke the fire.
"Socks are great kindling," he said. "Nothing is better for getting wooden shoes burning."
Mrs. Ryan said she was very pleased with the 5-karat diamond toe ring her husband got her for Christmas, as well as the foot lingerie.
Foot font would have been nice, too.