The replacement refs are getting theirs. Good for them.
"Maybe, you know, I could torture them," said Belichick, sounding hopeful on the phone. "Nothing major. Just some waterboarding, maybe stabbing them with hot pokers, some light limb severing. For about a week. What do you say?"
"Well, I appreciate you wanting to get involved to help out," said Goodell. "But I don't think our situation with the refs really rises to the level of torture, you know?"
"So this is like you not being able to tell me to torture them until they accept your offer to protect you legally, but you still want me to do it, right?" replied Belichick.
"No. That is completely wrong," said Goodell. "I am saying 100-percent don't do it."
"Got it. Clear as day. You want me to torture them," Belichick added, hanging up but not before a scream was heard in the background.
Who could hope to adequately replace all this greatness?
He better hope that steroids testing isn't part of their new CBA.
Arizona, Atlanta. What does it matter? All pointless NFL teams are the same.
He's Little League Palazzo.
Soooooooo a strike, then?
Frank Drebin lives!