Picture The Official Kid of NASCAR
He got an actual car to run him over for that tire print mohawk.
From more than 220,000 reader votes on nearly 70 athlete names
#25 Dean Windass
Fun Fact: Windass, a striker for Scarborough Athletic, creates space on the pitch with his violently smelly farts.
Picture The Most Pickup Truck Ever
Can't make out all of the license plate. Which Southern state is it from.
Sports have Halls of Fame for the best athletes, but the funniest names in sports history rarely receive the honor they deserve. Now you can vote for the athletes whose parents hated them the most!
"Take that shit off your head" are the original opening lyrics to the national anthem.
It's not safe to drive behind him on the fresh ice.
"We are adamant about keeping NASCAR in its place as the most accessible sport in the world," said NASCAR president Mike Helton. "As such, we are excited to be the first sport to make fan interaction a major part of deciding our championship. Football's '12th Man' is nothing versus Brad Keselowski's 220,000 Twitter followers."
The new Sprint Cup standings formula is as follows:
Twitter followers + Number of race wins = total Sprint Cup points
Daytona 500 winner Matt Kenseth would have 78,256 points (78,255 Twitter followers + 1 race win), putting him far behind Keselowski with 224,836 points (224,836 points + 0 race wins). Danica Patrick is currently in 1st place under the new system with 543,776 points (543,776 points + 0 race wins).
"Not only does the new Twitter-based Sprint Cup formula put us ahead of the curve," said France. "It allows our more marketable, but less I guess I'll say: 'good at driving' drivers, such as Danica and Dale Earnhardt, Jr., to actually compete for a championship."
"I'm not breaking any news here that seeing a truck explode was totally fkin' awesome," Helton said in a post-race press conference. "The question is, why is something so goddam great only happening once in our biggest race? It should be happening on every lap, every turn."
Helton said he hears the demands of NASCAR's casual fans "They want to see shit blow up, and we're gonna give it to 'em."
NASCAR's television ratings, ticket sales and sponsorship dollars have plummeted in recent years and Helton is looking to strike quickly on the popular explosions idea.
"I'm just spitballing here, but maybe each race we have a few unmanned car drones that just explode randomly," he said. "Or maybe all of our cars run on jet fuel. Or, instead of jet fuel, our safety trucks carry around a nuclear device. Can you imagine the buzz we'd get from a mushroom cloud? We'd be on the front cover of every paper in America."