Filed Under » Philadelphia Phillies

There are only a few days until the start of the MLB playoffs and SportsPickle is previewing each playoff team. Today: Philadelphia Phillies.

I was browsing Craigslist and look at what I found. I think it's a posting from Phillies closer Brad Lidge.

W / RP looking for a save to blow. I want to blow you in a stadium full of people so they can watch. I like when people watch. I will be at Citizens Bank Park in Philadelphia on the pitcher’s mound this Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday night. When it is the ninth inning, I will blow you. I could blow you fast. Or I could draw it out and really make it sloppy. But I will definitely finish blowing you by the end of the inning. Note: this is not just a one time thing. I want to blow you every time I can get on the field as long as my employer still let’s me go out there. Hurry! Their patience for my actions is waning and I want to blow you!

PostingID: 54727058

Cliff Lee may be the reigning American League Cy Young award winner, but he's far from a household name. Now that he has been acquired by the World Series champion Philadelphia Phillies, it's time to ask …

Who is this guy? Here are some facts about Cliff Lee.

Lee was born Clifton Phifer Lee in Benton, Ark. in 1978. At age 5, Lee decided he would go by "Cliff." He also decided to tell people that he was not given a middle name.

The left-hander played one season for the Arkansas Razorbacks in 2000 and was named 2002 Hog Nation Minor League Player of the Year by hognation.net. However, Hognation.com chose to ignore his fine season and instead continued to run risque pictures of obese women in American flag-themed lingerie.

In 2008, Lee's 22 wins were the most by an Indians pitcher since Gaylord Perry won 24 in 1972. The Indians commemorated Lee's feat by awarding him with the belt-sander that Perry used on the mound throughout the '72 season.

In 2002, Lee was part of the trade that sent Brandon Philips, Lee Stevens and Grady Sizemore from Montreal to Cleveland in exchange for Bartolo Colon and Tim Drew. Colon insisted Drew be included in the deal, as he was his personal chef/guy-who-would-run-to-Burger-King-at-midnight-for-him-to-get-a-few-Whoppers.

Lee won the AL Comeback Player of the Year Award in 2008. Lee was eligible for the award because in 2007 he went 5-8 with a 6.29 ERA and was plagued by acute suckitis. Yet he overcame the disease to win the Cy Young a year later. A movie about the inspiring comeback is already in production.

Lee and his wife, Kristin, have two children: Jaxon and Maci. Here is a photo of the family. Let's see … a young, blonde wife. Two cute children, a boy and a girl. He's ridiculously wealthy. It's all too good to be true. What are you hiding, Lee? An ugly cat? A toilet that runs in your guest house? A musty odor that lingers for a day or two each year when you open your beach house? Back hair? Out with it! Stop living a lie, Phifer! We're onto you.

Talks over the phonebetween Phillies general manager Ruben Amaro and Indians GM Mark Shapiro leading up to the Cliff Lee trade reportedly took a dramatic turn late Tuesday night when the pair found themselves engaged in phone sex.

“I’m not sure exactly how it happened, but it happened,” said Amaro. “We’ve been spending a lot of time on thephonetogether recently and I guess it’s one of those things like in any workplace where sparks can fly and two people can end up building an intense sexual tension between one another simply because of all the hours spent together working towards a common goal. It was late, we were on the phone, and one thing just led to another.”

“As the talks drew on, I was getting tired and I told Ruben that I wanted to get out of my work clothes and put on something more comfortable,” said Shapiro. “He asked me what I was wearing. I told him Dockers and a polo shirt and it turned out he was wearing the same thing. And before I knew it, my pants were down around my ankles and I was muttering: ‘Oh, yeah. You want me to pick up 100 percent of Cliff Lee’s contract, don’t you? Come on, you know you want it. Tell me you need another position player to make this deal happen. That’s right, make me work for it.’”

Amaro said he doesn’t think the incident says anything about the sexual preference of either executive.

"It was simply a voice on the other end of the line,” he said. “A welcoming voice that I had become accustomed to talking to. It was nothing more than a means to relieve stress and hopefully break down barriers between us and finally get a deal worked out that will bring a top pitcher here to Philadelphia. And to be honest, I enjoyed it. I hope to deal with Larry again in the future.”

But Shapiro isn’t so sure.

“For me, at least, it was extremely awkward when it was over. I felt used,” he said. “Doing something like that is totally unlike me. Especially to engage in that kind of behavior with another man. And a fellow GM, no less. I get a sense Ruben seduces everyone — GMs, agents. I bet it's how he got Raul Ibanez so cheap."

While Shapiro is happy with what he got in return for Lee, and even happier that he was able to achieve orgasm in the process, he doubts he will be trading again with the Phillies anytime soon.

"There was a certain walk of shame when I got off the phone and told my assistants and the owner that the trade was done," he said. "They were happy with the deal, but I can tell I lost some of their respect in how I got it done. I need to value myself more in the future and not just whore myself out to any GM on the phone who wants to deal with me or compliments me on how big I am down there."