The Philadelphia sun in early June can be oppressive-ish.
That's a Freudian twat.
Spatula stamps are the new tramp stamps.
Yeah, more than a couple fans will get on him now.
This is going to hurt the reputation of blonde Hooters waitresses.
News Jimmy Rollins Terrified By His Negative PECOTA Projection After Nate Silver Aces Presidential Election
"My wife was telling me about this stats guy who nailed the whole election," said Rollins. "So I check out his site, and this dude got, like, every single electoral vote right."
Rollins proceeded to read as many of Silver's posts as he could, until hitting what he described as a "bullshit New York Times paywall". So the 2007 NL MVP went ahead and Googled "Nate Silver stats genius", wondering how the pollster expertly predicted Obama's razor-thin win in Florida, but instead discovered Silver's PECOTA projection system for baseball players' career trajectories.
"Apparently [Silver's] numbers say I'm gonna turn into Alan Trammell, but with less range. Which seems crazy, but that guy got 31 out of 33 Senate races right, so yeah, I'm gonna call that ESPN guy back about the color commentator job."
Unfortunately, the Phillies lost their fight.
This redeems Philadelphia for everything they've ever done. Almost.
Picture Phillies Horse Fan
He needs to be put down, just like the Phillies.
The Jokester in Chief.