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20 Ways Penn State Can Still Sell Their Program to Recruits

*1.* No bowl games for your entire career means you get to spend the holidays with your family! 2. No matter how bad we might get, playing Indiana and Northwestern every year means ... Continue Reading →
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Bill O’Brien Planning to Just Show Up at the First Patriots Practice

Penn State head coach Bill O'Brien says he plans to show up at the first day of New England Patriots training camp on July 26th in hopes he can have his old job back. "Obviously, ... Continue Reading →
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Paterno Family investigation concludes that “Joe was a child predator-enabling liar”

The family of the late Joe Paterno announced the findings today of its own investigation into the circumstances surrounding Jerry Sandusky's more than 13-year reign of terror ... Continue Reading →
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There Was News About Penn State

They could be more specific. Continue Reading →
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Penn State Plane Banner is Not Pro-Joe Paterno

It’s like that plane doesn’t even care about football. Continue Reading →
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Penn State Revelations Spurring Other College Programs to Reevaluate Their Secret-Keeping Procedures

With Penn State still reeling from the findings of the Freeh Report as well as the prospect of an NCAA "death penalty" and countless lawsuits on the horizon, college sports ... Continue Reading →
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Penn State Announces Plans to Build a Slightly Smaller Joe Paterno Statue

Penn State officials acknowledged today that Joe Paterno's legacy needs a revision in light of the findings in the Freeh Report. In fact, the university's board of trustees ... Continue Reading →
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“Release The Tickle Monster” T-Shirt

Those probably aren’t a big seller. Continue Reading →
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Classy New Station Logo in a Report About Penn State

With that as the name of their sports teams, we should have seen this coming. Continue Reading →
Jury Selection Begins In Sandusky Child Sex Abuse Trial

Jerry Sandusky’s Swinging Produce

Is his lunch a twig and berries? Continue Reading →
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Courtroom Artist Very Complimentary to Terrifying Ginger Mike McQueary

It’s great when your wife is the courtroom artist. Continue Reading →
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Newt Gingrich Got Advice on Assistant Coaches from Joe Paterno

And so ends his political career. Continue Reading →
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Joe Paterno Taught Penn State Everything Except the Proper Use of "Your" vs. "You’re"

Grammar always hurt Penn State in the BCS rankings Continue Reading →
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New Penn State Coach Vows to Do His Best to Also One Day Die with Dignity from Cancer, Old Age and a Broken Pelvis

New Penn State head coach Bill O'Brien reassured the Nittany Lion fan base today that he will do his best to keep in place what the late Joe Paterno built at the university. "I ... Continue Reading →
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FOX 4 in Dallas with a Big Scoop on Joe Paterno

Born a year later, died two years ago. Continue Reading →
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Penn State Hires Non-Deviant to Be New Head Football Coach

Penn State has hired a new football coach, ending a nationwide search for someone who is totally not, to the best of their knowledge, a pedophile. "It was important to us that ... Continue Reading →
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Penn State’s Telemarketing-Based Coaching Search

Phone rings. [[[chat]]] Me: Hello? Caller: Hello. May I speak to the man or woman of the house? Me: This is he. Caller: Hi. This acting Penn State athletic director David Joyner and ... Continue Reading →
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How Jerry Sandusky Likely Plans to Dress for His Court Appearance

It’s his nicest Penn State outfit. Continue Reading →