Filed Under » Oscar Pistorius

According to a guy on Facebook, track star and accused murderer Oscar Pistorius is "guilty as hell."

"He got bail? You've got to be kidding me. Pistorius is guilty as hell," wrote Kevin Grasmani on Facebook. Grasmani lists his age as 37 and his employment as a data entry manager at a consulting company in Columbia, Maryland, and left the comment on his Facebook page at 9:58 a.m. this morning.

The man's comment generated two "likes" on his Facebook page from his 217 friends and one response, from Ryan Stennett, a high school classmate, who wrote: "Maybe. Maybe not. The trial will explain a lot."

It is not clear if Desmond Nair, the South African chief magistrate in the case, would have denied Pistorius bail had he known of Kevin's opinion earlier. The track star's attorney, Barry Roux, has also not addressed the allegations in the Facebook post.

"I hate when I walk into the bathroom at work and some co-worker has stunk it up. Disgusting," Grasmani wrote in his next Facebook post, apparently moving on from the Pistorius case, but possibly making some sort of subtle statement on the bathroom shooting.

While South African police maintain that runner Oscar Pistorius committed premeditated murder in the death of his girlfriend, officials do stress that citizens should remain on the lookout for the famed "Bathroom Burglar" that has terrorized residential bathrooms in the city for months.

"The Bathroom Burglar should not think that we have diverted our attention to Mr. Pistorius and away from him – or her," said police spokesman Edward Grant. "The Bathroom Burglar has stolen far too many Q-Tips, tubes of toothpaste and decorative soaps. He will be brought to justice."

Pistorius maintains he felt a burglar had climbed into his house and locked himself in the bathroom early last Thursday morning, prompting him to fire repeatedly into the bathroom door. Police dismiss that account, but admit that climbing into homes and then effectively cornering himself in a locked bathroom is the trademark behavior of the Bathroom Burglar.

"It's amazing he keeps getting away with his robberies, considering his calling card is easily one of the dumber things we've ever seen from this sort of criminal," said the police spokesman.

Gerri Nel, the South African prosecutor assigned to Oscar Pistorius' murder case, caused the courtroom to erupt into guffaws this morning when he stood up, cleared his throat and said: "Ladies and gentlemen, Oscar Pistorius' case simply doesn't have a leg to stand on."

Nel then stood with his arms out and palms raised and accepted high-five after high-five from those gathered in the cramped courtroom.

"Oh, man. Nailed him," said magistrate Desmond Nair. "Good one. Come up here and give me a fist bump. Ha! No leg to stand on. Where do you come up with this stuff?"

Nel admitted he had seen the "no legs to stand on line" — in reference to Pistorius not having natural legs below the knee — on several Internet comments boards in the days since the tragic incident at the runner's home. He also said he had been e-mailed several versions of the joke by his uncle Phil.

"So I can't claim to have been the one who invented the joke, but there's no way I was going to pass up the opportunity to say it into the public record," said Nel. "I'm like a legend now."

Magistrate Nair recessed proceedings until tomorrow after Nel's killer line.

"Damn, I say we stop until tomorrow," said Nair, wiping tears from his eyes. "Unless anyone has any better lines about ol' no-legs over there. Anyone?"

Paralympic track legend Oscar Pistorius stands accused of murdering his girlfriend in cold blood, an act he reportedly has admitted to South African police in an inspirational confession.

"My whole life I have been told what I can't do because of my legs," said Pistorius. "They said I could never be a world class sprinter. They said I could never compete in the Olympics. They said I could never murder someone."

"Did someone really say that?" interjected a detective.

"Oh, it was said," continued Pistorius. "I was always taunted in school with: 'Ha-ha! You'll never murder anyone because you have no legs! Look, everyone! No legs over here can't kill people, what with his no legs!' It stung. But I vowed to prove them wrong. And today I have. I hope I can be an inspiration to everyone throughout the world who has been told their handicap prevents them from doing horrible and unspeakable things."

South African police officials said the confession was by far the most inspirational they have ever received.

"This guy has overcome so much to shoot his girlfriend four times," said Detective Robert Price. "Is this someone we can really lock up? It's delicate when it comes to issues like these. I'm not disabled so I can't speak to what is or is not inspirational to the disabled community."