Picture The Official Basketball Jerseys of Jay-Z
It's always great when a bitch will go along with your novelty jersey idea.
Video World's Crappiest Reporter Observes Implosion of Amway Arena
Walter Cronkite coined "That was cool."
News Dwight Howard's Profession of Love for Orlando Slightly Undercut by Repeated Wanking Motion
"This is exactly the kind of commitment we have been waiting to hear from Dwight," said Magic owner Rich DeVos. "I was ecstatic when I heard Dwight had said this, signalling he hopes to remain with the Magic for his entire career."
But those who were present when Howard made the statement after a morning shoot-around suspect the big man many have stated his love for Orlando sarcastically.
"I know basketball. I'm not a body language expert," said general manager Otis Smith. "But the fact that Dwight was making a wanking motion the whole time he was talking makes me wonder if he wasn't 100-percent serious. Especially how when he said 'I want to remain with the Magic for my entire career,' he pretended to ejaculate into the air and then he slumped over like he was dead."
Howard insists he was serious in his statements about staying a member of the Magic.
"Oh, yeah. Totally serious. What would make you think I was being sarcastic," he asked, now furiously faux-wanking with both hands while rolling his eyes.
Video Dwight Howard Eats a Cookie Off of His Face
An Orlando Magic center eating cookies? He's the new Shaq!
Video Magic Fans Sing for the Return of Dwight Howard
Ooof. Now he's definitely going to leave.
Video Drugged Up Kid Doesn't Want Dwight Howard to Leave the Magic
He must be the Magic exec who drunk dialed Howard.
Video Dwight Howard Dunks on a Giraffe
It probably felt a lot like dunking on Chris Bosh.
Picture Gilbert Arenas' Uplifting New Twitter Avatar
This isn't Bill Cosby's Twitter avatar.
