News Ohio State President Gordon Gee Announces Retirement: "I want to make Ohio State jokes"
"It's time to move on," Gee said in a statement. "I've spent 14 years here. No one knows more about Ohio State than I do. I have 14 years worth of jokes and I'm ready to tell them."
Gee's last day at the helm of Ohio State will be July 1st. He has a comedy show scheduled for July 2nd on the campus of the University of Michigan and another at Penn State on July 3rd before heading out on a two-week tour through SEC. All shows are already sold out.
Gee got into trouble in recent weeks when comments he made at an Ohio State event about Bret Bielema, Notre Dame, Louisville and the SEC were made public.
"As easy as it was to make fun of those people, making fun of Ohio State will be ten times easier," said Gee. "Trust me. I've been amongst them for years. They honestly consider themselves to be a rigorous academic institution and on the same level as the top SEC teams at football. It's hilarious. I've got unlimited material."
Picture Ohio State Buckeyes Superfan Getting Towed
O-H! I-Owe … the city money on parking tickets.
Video Brutus the Buckeye Decleated During Ohio State Football Practice
Can a nut get concussed?
Video Ohio State Football Coach Rips Kicker for Taking a Water Break
This guy would kill everyone at spring training.
Opinion EXCLUSIVE Interview with the Turtle Who Bit Woody Hayes in the Penis
Ohio State's Urban Meyer told a story about Woody Hayes over the weekend at an Ohio coaching convention. According to Meyer, in 1986 a retired Hayes attempted to teach Ohio State coaches about toughness by having a turtle bite his penis. Yes. Really. Click HERE for the details.
SportsPickle was able to land an exclusive interview with the turtle.
Let's just get the main question out of the way at the top: Did you bite former Ohio State head football coach Woody Hayes in the penis?
I did.
How did you wind up biting a famous coach in the penis before a room full of Ohio State coaches?
My family lived next door to Woody's house. My owner, Kevin, was playing with me out on the porch one day and Woody asked if he could borrow me for something he was doing for work. A couple hours later, I've got my jaws chomped down on his dick.
Why? So he asked you to do that to drive home his point?
Where to start. I was born in Michigan. I'm a Michigan turtle. But around 1984, Kevin's dad got transferred from Ann Arbor to a job down in Columbus. Fine. I'm a turtle. As long as I still get to see the Michigan games on TV from my tank I'm cool living wherever. I had no idea goddam Woody Hayes of all people lived next door to our new house. Next thing I know, I'm getting scooped up and driven somewhere in a dark box. Then the box opens and Woody Hayes and Woody Hayes' penis are staring right at me. I had no idea what he was planning to do, but it didn't really seem like there were a lot of positive outcomes in this situation for me, you know? I basically had two options: attack or run. And turtles aren't the best at running. So I bit his penis with everything I had and just hung on.
What kind of turtle are you?
I'm not a monster, if that's what you mean. I did what any turtle would do in that situation. Especially a Michigan turtle.
No, I just mean: What kind of turtle are you? Like a snapper or a –
Oh oh. Box. I'm a box turtle.
Picture Ohio State Football Celebrates Season of Undefeated Banning
Come out and get your tattoo signed by the players!
Video Ohio State Band Performs Halftime Show About the End of the World
A bit dramatic. Big Ten football is bad, but not apocalypse bad.
Video Cleveland Browns/Ohio State Fan Dunks Head in Bucket of Urine for $449
It's one of the most exciting moments in Cleveland Browns football history.
Video Ohio State Band Does Video Game-Inspired Performance
Too bad no one in college knows what any of those games are.
