It's the longest-running show on television.
#1 David Stern and the Frozen Envelope
The Theory: Before the 1985 NBA Draft lottery, Stern perhaps along with other top NBA executives had the envelope containing the Knicks' card frozen so Stern would be able to feel it by touch and know to leave it for the No. 1 overall pick, handing Patrick Ewing to the Knicks.
Why It Might Be True: The NBA has long wanted the big market Knicks to be good, Stern is a New York native, the team was in the toilet at the time and Patrick Ewing was the most desired rookie to come along in years. Plus, Stern has never struck anyone as the most ethical fellow.
Why It Might Be False: If David Stern was in the business of rigging things so the Knicks would be good, he would have had Isiah Thomas killed years ago. In fact, you have to wonder if there's a conspiracy against the Knicks.
Maybe it's a custom in Finland to get drunk and fall down steps into a trophy.
"Oh, hell yes," said Baltimore Ravens linebacker Terrell Suggs before the interviewer even finished his question about having a homosexual teammate. "I'd be on a team full of hot lesbians if there was one. Definitely. And I'd be cool with a few gay dudes, too, because I'd know they wouldn't be trying to compete with me for the girls. Yes, yes, yes. I am very open-minded about all that."
Suggs' sentiments were echoed by athletes surveyed in all four major sports.
"It's an interesting question you pose and a topic of great import," said Dodgers pitcher Josh Beckett. "Just last night at our hotel I was watching a fascinating documentary about it. Well, I don't know if you would necessarily call it a documentary. It was a porno. But the one girl had a natural rack, so it seemed pretty realistic. Anyway, I'm all for having lesbian teammates and then, of course, instantly making them bi with my rugged masculinity and having non-stop orgies with them."
Athlete after athlete ignored the true point of the question whether they would be okay with a gay, male teammate and instead jumped right to lesbian fantasy. Steelers head coach Mike Tomlin says that is common for any topic that is brought up in a sports locker room.
"I can say something like: 'Today we're going to work on our two-minute drill,'" said Tomlin, "and without question some player will pipe up with 'You know who I'd like to drill? Two chicks.' Twenty minutes later, I'm still trying to get everyone's attention."
He has an uncanny combination of athleticism, flexibility, hand-eye coordination and competitiveness. But those aren't the biggest keys to the boy's success.
He was also born without a five-hole.
Yes, Chenault came into the world in 2000 as a special needs child. Born with a webbed crotch, many thought he would never live a normal life. But then one day, at age 6, he went to a local rink in the Montreal suburb of Boucherville and the rest is history.
"He struggled to skate, what with the webbed crotch," said Chenault's father, Rene, whose family carries the rare webbed crotch gene. "It's hard to take long strides. But then he went into the goal and it was magic."
Hey, it's Detroit. Property values can't go down much more.
He'll miss one shift due to his blindness.
God is all-knowing, yet I doubt He has ever even heard of the Nashville Predators. (via @hats_mcgee)
Good job, Green Man! Now try to make her be in an entertaining movie.