May 01, 2013

Video BREAKING: The Blackhawks Had a Lot of Sex During the Regular Season

But they're pros, so they want to have sex in the playoffs, too.

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Filed Under   media   NHL   Chicago Blackhawks
May 1, 2013

Opinion What Your Favorite NHL Playoff Team Says About You

What Your Favorite NHL Playoff Teams Says About You - Image 2

You would be honored to have a drunken Patrick Kane throw up on you.

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What Your Favorite NHL Playoff Teams Says About You - Image 2

You struggle to understand a world in which Katy Perry is considered to be more famous and talented than Corey Perry.

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Filed Under   NHL
April 30, 2013

News Penguins Worried Sidney Crosby Will Struggle to Make Plays Inside New Protective Plastic Bubble

Penguins Worried Sidney Crosby Will Struggle to Make Plays Inside New Protective Plastic Bubble - Image 1
Penguins star Sidney Crosby may return to the ice from a broken jaw for Game 1 of Pittsburgh's first round series against the New York Islanders, but there is concern he will not be able to produce at 100-percent.

"We haven't yet found a bubble that allows him to hold his stick outside of the bubble to stickhandle the puck," said head coach Dan Bylsma. "That is usually a big aspect of Sid's game. Right now he can only push the puck along the ice with his bubble as he rolls it. He's still making plays that way in practice, but it's not quite the same thing."

The Penguins have also struggled to keeps Crosby's bubble inflated, as his razor-sharp skates have repeatedly sliced through it, leaving him in nothing but a hockey helmet, protective face shield, shoulder pads and chest protector, elbow pads, padded gloves, padded hockey pants, knee/shin guards and reinforced skates — essentially unprotected.

"I don't think we can risk that happening in a game," said Bylsma. "Sure, he might be able to last a shift or two, but eventually he's going to get hurt. And hurt bad. He'll take a slap shot off the neck or 400-pound speaker from the arena ceiling will break loose, fall and land on him. It's just his luck."

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Filed Under   NHL   Pittsburgh Penguins   Sidney Crosby
April 23, 2013

Picture Perfect Chicago Blackhawks Wedding

Too bad Jeff Tildethdoouspart is the minors right now.

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Filed Under   NHL   Chicago Blackhawks   Johnny Oduya
April 20, 2013

Video Jack Edwards Compares Matt Cooke to Famous Murderer in Wake of Boston Marathon Bombing

He wins the Too Soon Award for Broadcasting.

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From Staff / April 20, 2013

News American Sports Fans to Resume Hating Boston Teams in 36 Hours

American Sports Fans to Root for Boston Teams for 36 More Hours - Image 2
Boston's sports teams were informed today that they will receive the support and cheers of America's sports fans for 36 more hours in the wake of the apprehension of the second suspect in the Boston Marathon bombing tragedy.

"We received word today that while the nation continues to support the people of Boston, sports fans will begin hating the Red Sox again very soon," said a Red Sox front office source. "While I wish that wasn't the case, I completely understand it. I mean, I supported New York after 9/11 and felt great compassion and heartbreak for everyone there, but I still loved it when they lost the 2001 World Series. The people of New York and what New York City represents is not the same as the Yankees baseball team. Screw the Yankees, right?"

Had the chase for the remaining suspect stretched on for several more days, Boston's teams would likely have received near-unanimous support well into next week, but Friday night's speedy resolution means that support will dissipate over the weekend.

"It's not surprising, especially with the playoffs starting," said Celtics head coach Doc Rivers. "Right or wrong, people move on. Although the one thing we might have going for us is that we're playing the Knicks. A lot of fans hate them, too. We might be the least disagreeable option. At least for a series."

Patriots owner Robert Kraft says he has learned the Patriots were never viewed in a sympathetic light.

"Unlike the other three teams, we are not in season," said Kraft. "So no one ever felt the need to stop hating us. We remain universally loathed outside of New England. It's been business as usual around here."

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April 17, 2013

Opinion 3-Step Guide on How Athletes Can Become One of the Biggest Stars in Their Sport!

3Step Guide on How Athletes Can Become One of the Biggest Stars in Their Sport - Image 1
3Step Guide on How Athletes Can Become One of the Biggest Stars in Their Sport - Image 1
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Filed Under   NBA   MLB   NFL   NHL
April 16, 2013

Video Brayden Schenn Takes a Slash to the Unmentionables

That's a penalty of one minute for each testicle.

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