by DJ Gallo / 2 hours ago

Opinion 6 Charts Explaining the 2012 Stanley Cup Playoffs

6 Charts Explaining the 2012 Stanley Cup Playoffs - Image 1
6 Charts Explaining the 2012 Stanley Cup Playoffs - Image 1
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Filed Under   NHL
yesterday

Picture German Goalie Has a Good Name for a Backup

"Look, starter. If you don't play better, I'm going to play the Fücker."

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Filed Under   NHL
by DJ Gallo / yesterday

News Drunk, Depressed Jack Nicholson Spotted Buying LA Kings Tickets

Drunk, Depressed Jack Nicholson Spotted Buying LA Kings Tickets - Image 1
Academy Award-winning actor and Los Angeles Lakers superfan Jack Nicholson has been reduced to purchasing tickets to see the Los Angeles Kings after his beloved Lakers were bounced out of the playoffs early for the second season in a row.

“I want my regular seat on the floor for … whatever it is the hockey team is doing. Stanley’s cups,” Nicholson told a ticket window operator at the Staples Center this morning.

“I’m sorry, sir. But your seat would be on the ice at a hockey game. They’re not available,” Nicholson was told.

“What? There’s ice? Goddamit. Let me speak to Jerry Buss immediately! I want my seats!” screamed the actor.

Nicholson was then informed that Buss is not the owner of the Kings, which prompted him to run his hands through his hair and make angry and exasperated facial expressions for more than 10 minutes. He was then led away by Staples Center security.

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Filed Under   NBA   NHL   Los Angeles Lakers   Los Angeles Kings
yesterday

Picture Claude Giroux Plays Beer Pong Through Injuries

This is the kind of gritty drunkenness they respect in Philadelphia.

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Filed Under   NHL   Philadelphia Flyers   Claude Giroux
3 days ago

Picture Jonathan Quick Now Ruining Sex Lives

It takes a while to remove all of that goalie equipment.

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Filed Under   NHL   Los Angeles Kings   Jonathan Quick
May 15, 2012

Picture Defecating on the Ice Should be a Game Misconduct

Hockey has gotten completely out of control.

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Filed Under   media   NHL   New York Rangers   Brad Richards
May 15, 2012

Picture The Sacramento Kings are the 2012 NBA Playoff Darkhorses

I knew Jimmer would get them in the playoffs somehow.

by DJ Gallo / May 15, 2012

Opinion The 10 Least Prestigious Individual Awards in Sports

The 10 Least Prestigious Individual Awards in Sports - Image 2

#10 – Comeback Player of the Year Award

The NFL, Major League Baseball and the PGA Tour all name a Comeback Player of the Year. This would be a fine award if it was always given to a player returning from a serious injury or personal tragedy. But more often than not, the Comeback Player award is given to someone who simply sucked the previous year. All this award does is remind everyone how terrible you were.

Better Award Title: Wow You Really Blew Last Year Trophy

#9 – Most Improved Player Award

The 10 Least Prestigious Individual Awards in Sports - Image 1
The NBA’s Most Improved Player Award is similar to the Comeback Player of the Year Award of the NFL, MLB and PGA, only you’re completely disqualified if you’ve ever had a good season previously. Winning this award confirms that up until the most recent season, you were pretty much a bust.

Better Award Title: The Congrats on No Longer Sucking Award

#8 – NASCAR’s Most Popular Driver Award

NASCAR’s Most Popular Driver is determined by fan votes. Dale Earnhardt, Jr. has won this award every year since 2003: nine consecutive years. Earnhardt, Jr. last won a race on June 15, 2008, and has never won a Sprint Cup. Even if another driver eventually wins this award, it’s forever associated with failure.

Better Award Title: Dale Junior Cup or Congratulations On Being Loved By Moron NASCAR Fans Who Will Fall In Love With Whoever Is Marketed The Most Via Cheap Plastic Collectibles No Matter How Lousy Of A Driver He May Actually Be Trophy

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Filed Under   NBA   NFL   NCAAF   golf   NCAAB   NHL   Soccer
May 14, 2012

Picture Coyotes Fan Distracting the Head Coach with Her Massive Cleavage

Melt the ice. It's time to motorboat.

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Filed Under   NHL   Phoenix Coyotes   Dave Tippett